Prince Charming

I have noticed in my self and many of my friends that we are looking for prince charming, some in different ways than others. We have grown up listening to the stories of Cinderella and Snow-white, believing that there is this prince charming that will come one day on a white horse to our rescue.

Some are looking for prince charming that will be a "Prince" financially speaking and rescue the poor "Cinderella", so she is still waiting and believing that one day a prince charming will come along, with his palace and white BMW. She cannot see a solution to her problems which may not be financial at all, the only thing that will make things better is the prince in shining armor that will rescue her from the dragon.

On the other hand other ladies are looking for the other side of prince charming, a prince that knows all the right things to say, the prince that will come in a romantic way, the hope of happily ever after. the prince that will not give up to obstacles…even the ones she sets before him.

On some level all women and girls are looking for their prince charming, and we are somewhat disappointed in the less theatrical proposals and beginnings, without at many occasions knowing that we are looking for the stories that we have grew up dreaming about. I guess we grew up and the dream did not subside ….it grew with us

We are still awaiting prince charming to come and to be all that we have dreamed of and to live a story of our own. Which contradicts in many cases with the reality of things, that no one is perfect, we are not in a story, we are in the real life that has challenges, and we have to have a hand in things, we will have to make some compromises, there is no perfect prince charming that will come with all the solutions.

We have to work for the happily ever after part….but still the hope of prince charming is still much alive as ever.

Make a difference ….

We all feel so powerless sitting in our sofas facing the TV screen, looking at the horrid images of our dying brothers and sisters. They are being killed every day in so many places, Palestine, Iraq, Lebanon and the list is growing longer every day. And we are still doing what we have always done, sit in our sofas looking at the screen. Feeling sad..angry …frustrated. And then what? Nothing we grow out of it, we get used to it and go back to our lives, if we can call them lives with no dignity or freedom.

Some people or let's say most people, call on leaders and politicians to do something, take a stand with our brothers against our enemies. Personally I don't feel this will work, before you bite my head off let me explain. If the leaders of our world call upon their people "Us" to go fight, will we ? don't be so quick to judge, some will I have no doubt and I hope I will be one of them, but lets look at it this way, you will have no job and hence no income for your family and children, do you awn your home ? where are your children going to be if you leave every thing and join the army?

Now during the fighting which requires hard work, do you have training for that? Even if you did not and where assigned a no-skill assignment are you in good enough physical shape to take the hard labor involved? Or did smoking and greasy food leave you gasping for breath?

I don't want to disappoint anyone, and I'm sure not with just standing still, but I'm all for being logical and planning, so what is the solution? A strong army and trained reserve army " you and me '" but the question is how?

Total reform, once we were the most educated nation, we had the best doctors and scientists, The strongest army and economy, And now NOTHING of that. I cannot imagine having a team assigned to me at work comprised of people in bad shape , lazy, would rather read the news paper than work, smokes and is totally incompetent!! let a alone of risking my life and country by leading a whole army of this kind of people.

I wanted to write a list of things we can all do, but decided against the idea; I'm rather explaining my perspective on things, leaving the details to every one of us to see how he or she can make a difference and not just be a number.

If our society starts being more positive and taking more initiative, in our day to day lives we will be better off. If you see garbage in the street do you remove it ? do you throw things out of your car while driving because your too lazy to take to the right place, are the cameras the only thing, that is stops you from speeding and running red lights? Do you do your job with dedication or are always looking for ways to do less and get credit for more? Do you pray fajir ?

I'm talking hear of minor examples, do you take bribe money or do you give bribe? There are many many such questions, and until most of us can answer them the correct and responsible way, we will go no where !! we will keep on watching TV and looking for solutions that are not solutions , but rather hangers that we deicide to hang our defeat upon.

Each one of us can make a difference by improving one or more person we know. If you can make a difference in the society around you to the better, maybe one day we will deserve to be the winners rather than the losers. Maybe we will have a strong economy maybe we will put through politicians that are honest, not our relatives that will get us jobs and university seats….maybe one day we will clean the fungus that is killing us from within …then we will lead a victorious army and pray at the Aqsa together.

Winning is a joint effort...

Smoke and Mirrors

I have been following a few blogs during last week, and I'm surprised to the amount if Israeli comments on any post about what is going on in Lebanon.

Some posts have more Israeli or pro- Israeli comments than Arab comments. You have to give it to them, they are masters in public relations, propaganda, and media. We suck at it.

They occupy our land, they come out being people returning to their home land in peace. They kill women and children and starve them, deprive them of basics of a decent life and much more, and they are these poor people defending themselves against the brutal Palestinian children, and their rocks of misdirection. They bombard villages and kill convoys of civilian safety seekers, and they are helping the region regain stability from the Bad Bad hisbulla.

On the other hand, we loose our land "since for ever" get kicked into asylum, and we end up the bad guys who don't want to live in peace with our sweet neighbor. We try to defend what is left of our torn land destroyed homes and raped women and we are terrorists who kill civilians.

The truth is on our side, but we are so stubborn and mislead, to think that only the truth will get us the international support we need for our cause. We need to do a better job at showcasing the truth and the brutality of the Israelis.

Even thought the blogs are ours they feel obliged to comment, and correct our wrong views ( according to them ) even thought our news agencies are against them, they accept to guest on them, even though they know in advance that they will be cut of, but even a couple of sentences is worth for them. but for us ...well no so much!

Until we get out of our cocoon, and start facing the reality that we need to work harder on improving our image, and promoting our causes, the way we will design a promotion for any product or service we will be beaten. twice !

All for now ….

Bad Dreams .....


Zzzzz…..killing of women and children in Iraq

Zzzzzz …..Killing of women and children in Gaza

Zzzzz……Killing of women and children in Lebanon

Zzzzz….. Corruption

Zzzzz……No Justice

Zzzzzz….Terrorism

If you are sleeping …you can only be dreaming, right?

A Fool among experts


I have no words to describe what is going on in Lebanon, nor can I describe my feelings towards the entire political situation. But what I felt I really needed to talk about is the general knowledge in politics by the general public!!

I was having dinner with my parents and some family friends, the talk on the table …Politics! This I could understand from veteran politicians and activists. Even if I don't agree with them.

I went to the salon and the talk of the day as well is politics, what's going on in Lebanon, I got the pleasure to hear salon workers, who I doubt finished high school, analyze the political situation and the economical and social impact of the current offence on Lebanon.

I was at this place with university students- still not graduated- and yes you have guessed, they as well have their own opinions. but don't look at the specifics here, I bet you used a taxi, the driver of which gave you his view on the matter, as well as the man in the Dukaneh.

Is it just me or does not politics and political analysis need experts, people who at least know history, economics, and some kind of a political knowledge, I bet most of the people providing these analysis, don't know the political history of Sudan or Iran or any other Arab country except their own. Most of which cannot even name most of the Arab presidents, kings and princes.

What frustrates me is that every one is a political expert; they all know the motivations of all the parties involved, they all know why …every one knew this will happen. Every one has the true numbers of Huzb Allah's weapons. they all know it all and more than the real experts and actual politicians.

I guess I'm the only one who is totally clueless …Alas I'm the fool among experts.

My Salad theory and some of my Favorites (to Eat and drink)

I came home late last night after watching Pirates of the carbine, the thing that I was thinking on the way back is, I would love to have some "batee5" before I go to sleep. That is exactly what I did! Did I ever tell you that I absolutely LOVE water melons; they are my favorite fruit and if I was asked would I rather never eat chocolate again or batee5, I will give up chocolate in a heart beat.

I thought it would be fun to post my favorite stuff to eat and drink. Realistically I cannot fit my favorite things from all categories in one post.

So here you go ….

# 1, Batee5
#2, Bandora ( tomatoes) they are my favorite vegetable" I know they are fruit " I love them in any form or shape.
#3, Tea, plain black, flavored, green tea, green tea with flavors as well.
#4, Salt…don't be surprised I love salt I cannot have a meal without adding extra salt to it, I love every thing salty, including the sea : )
#5 chocolate
#6 Jarjeer " Rocolla or Rocca " I love this salad, Italian way or plain old Jordanian way.

This is the list individual items I love, in general I love fruit and fresh veggies, Italian food, and Salads. But I tried to mention individual favorites not food groups.

On the food issue, I would like to share a theory I have, people are either SALD people or SOUP people. I have noticed from the people I know that the people who really love soup don't really care for salads, meaning that they will not miss if it was not there, and salad people on the other hand don't mind never having soup. There are exceptions of course but this is what I have noticed, I crave salads but could care less about soup. so what are Soup people or Salad people ?


This is not the right subject before lunch : ) …I must go out for a salad.

All for now ....

Refresh your spirit

Make today the day you do something you have never done before, our days pass by in routine what ever that maybe, and no matter how busy and hectic your life is. Most of us spend days and weeks and some times even years never doing something out of the ordinary. this will slowly but surly kill your spirit.

I call on you to do something that you haven't ever done before or have not done in a long long time. Something that you love, or have loved and forgot that you have loved once, or one of your dreams that help you fall asleep at night, and the idea that helps you through the gray days.

Why don't we all put a list of those things and start doing something new every week at least. When was the last time you drove all the way to Madaba to eat at Haret Jdudna. Or when did you last watch the sun rise in the morning.

It maybe different from one person to another, for me its when did I last hold a painting brush in my hand. Too long I tell since my last art work. It maybe something big or something small, but I promise it will lift your sprits.

The other day I went out with my friend and we did a couple of strange things. Which was fun a great go-crazy evening. It felt so refreshing so I thought I must think of one thing every week, that I did not do in a long time or ever for that matter and go and do it.

I wish you all a fulfilling life : )

How old is your brain ?

This time I'm not talking about the philosophical side, but the actual physical. I found this nice test given by doctors, try it is fun and informative.

Stand on one leg and close your eyes. The longer you can stand without losing your balance, the younger your brain is -- 15 seconds is very good if you are 45 or older. Have someone spot you if there's any chance you might not recover your equilibrium in time to avoid a spill.

I hold no responsibilities for physical injuries, so please be careful while trying this exercise. And I hold no responsibility for any ego injuries if you turn out to have an old brain : )

So How long did you stand ?

Shoppotherapy

This is a new word that I have just coined, which obviously means therapy with shopping. The other day I was feeling a little bit sad and not my usual self, but after going shopping with my friends, and buying a couple of items, I felt really good and excited about my new purchase.

To be honest, for a moment my conscience was giving me a hard time, since I spent a generous amount on a new "Abaya" and a bag, the thought that some family would spend that much on food for a month. Was painful to swallow, but still I coughed up the cash and left the store with a grin on my face.

This got me thinking, what is it that gives us the thrill from shopping? That it overwhelms even an alive conscience as mine (or at least I try to have)? I read a little bit on the subject and here are a couple of theories.

Fist theory, says that the women's role since ancient times was to be the gatherer, as apposed to the man who is the hunter, so we get a sense of satisfaction from upholding our role in life, we gather the things we need. And we take the time in the consideration if that thing is really needed and which is the best. So all in all some say it is the sense of accomplishment.

Second theory, is that women are care givers by instinct, so buying things for the people they love, gives them a sense that they are providing them with care, it goes as well when they shop for themselves, they are taking care of themselves especially at the times they are feeling particularly low, and no one else is providing them with care or not caring enough, they take care of themselves.

Third theory, (which is my own) I agree with the above mentioned theories, and they both may be true and vary according to individual and time. My theory is a complementary to those two, it is the sense of security and worth in the physical possessions, we are becoming a global community of consumers and we are encouraged in many ways to consume more, in addition to the fact that the society is measuring people, and success in a purely materialistic way, this leads people with low self esteem to give more worth to themselves by owning more things.

The reason why we enjoy shopping as women may be a combination of all of the above and more factors, it is different from one individual to another and from one time to another.
In order not to fall in the trap of emotional satisfaction, from materialistic things, it is wise to consider the reason we are driving the nearest mall or shopping center. So that we can treat the problem with the accurate tool, it may even be the plain and simple as I really needed the new bag!

All for now….

One of the colors of Silence (Blue)


Sitting in the silence, in the midst of hurricane.

Listening to the to the hallow mourning of my soul….

Listening to the weep of a baby …

Listening to the creepy silence of deaf ears

Breaking in sweat to maintain the silence

Since the words that are ours are the ones still not said.

Now did you know that one of the colors of silence is blue ?

Good Morning …

Open your eyes to a new day of dreams….

Sun kisses you good morning ….

Refreshing water wakes every cell of you ….

Find a sweet message on your phone ....

Fresh morning air fills you with happiness

Coffee to greet you to a new day …

A full inbox of caring friends …..

What else may you want for your mornings ?

One month anniversary



I have just discovered that I have been blogging for one month, I have 14 posts in one month, not bad if I may so myself : )

I still don't know how to make a photo appear in the middle of the post.

I still don't have a blog roll

I still don't have a design for my blog

Any volunteers : )

So people, do you think I should continue of just stop ? do you think its worth while ( fishing for compliments obviously, but as well seeking honest opinion )

All for now ....

كن طفلا و كوني طفلة

لكي تدركوا حقائق العالم كونوا أطفالا ....تسائلوا ؟ إبحثوا و لا تسلموا بكل ما تعرفون أو تظنون أنكم تعرفون .

الأطفال أفضل باحثين في العالم و أفضل المفكرين و الفلاسفه ....أتذكرون متى كانت آخر مره سألتم لماذا ؟ أتعلمون كم مرة يسأل الطفل ذلك السؤال ؟ معظم ما نعرف أو نعلم هو نتاج فكرنا حين كنا أطفالا ....و معظم جهلنا هو بسبب بعدنا عن أسلوب الطفل في السؤال ...نقبل الأمور كما هي و لا نسأل لماذا .

النتيجة أنصاف مثقفين ....و أنصاف مفكرين ....و جهال ...لا نعرف أن نجيب على سؤال بسيط مثل "لماذا ؟"عن أهم قرارات حياتنا و عن أهم أعمدة فكرنا ، ببساطة لأننا نعتقد أننا نعرف و لككنا في الحقيقه في غياهب الجهل. الى أن نعود الى كوننا أطفال نريد أن نتعلم و نسأل و نتأكد قبل أن نسلم بما يخبرنا به الآخرون .عندئذ نكون قد بدأنا نتعلم ....

لننظر من عيون الأطفال الى العالم ....جرب أن تكون طفلا يوما واحده و لا تقبل أي حقيقة على ما هي عليه و إسأل لماذا ؟ و ما هذا ؟ و لما هذا ؟ عندها سوف تكتشف كم كنت جاهلا عندما لم تكن طفلا ....
كن طفلا و كوني طفلة و لا تبالي ....فهكذا تبداء الطريق و تكبر بدلا من أن تنكمش

One of the colors of silence

Sitting here in the silence...my finger tips caressing the keyboard, a slight smile on my

face...Entertaining the thought of complete and utter honesty ….

Contemplating turning a rock

Contemplating not to kiss toads

Contemplating….. the idea

What if ….and what if not?

What is more important the greater good or peace of mind?

Could you get an adrenaline rush sitting in the silence and entertaining an idea?

Am I so astringed by new ideas ….am I so used to be innovative?

Why cannot I disappear in the crowd ….

Why do my ideas have such a load voice and a faithful audience.

Maybe I will hide under a rock ….why do I have to free the creatures under rocks …why don't I join them ….

Stereotypes….

So where are the camels and the tents? That was the question my boss asked me when he came to Amman, he continued "you know Americans we love to stereotype" that was a funny joke, but at the time I did believe that only American brutally label people and nations.

Recently, I have noticed that we put some sort of socially accepted format, for each of the types and ignorantly label and judge people accordingly.

My Aunt and her husband are religious or pious people, in lets call it the traditional way. Meaning she wears the veil in a certain way and has studied shri3a at university and he has a beard and says Al Salam 3leikom, you know they are shyoukh.

So, one day they are visiting at our house and I was attending training so I come in home at 10 pm. they give me this look of disapproval!!

Every time I say something about religion they look to me in non-acceptance and try to defend Islam in front of me, in the most stupid way any one can do it ….by pretending or believing that I don't know any thing at all and try to cover up and explain things the wrong way-simple and superficial way- so I don't get the wrong thing from the correct concept. And mind you I do wear hijab and don't wear makeup in public meaning that I have the look of the religious. But still to them I'm not.

I should be staying at home, or be there before sunset. Don't speak to any man that is not my relative and be (m3a2deh), no travel no going out with my friends. To fit the type and get the social stamp of approval.


On the other hand there is the other side. I walk in to nice restaurant or a hotel and I get these queer looks, for them I don't fit the surroundings I'm too m3a2deh for the place.

The other side as well rules me out. I'm not from the cool bunch because I don't fit the format, and I wear hijab, which is a big head turner when ever I go to see a movie.

A friend of the family was working with the Jordanian peace keeping Forces in Kosovo, when a group of them went to local restaurant, the other guys with him started hitting on the ladies in the most grouse way, thinking they were cheap ladies due to the way they dressed.

He had to explain to them, that this is the way they dress here and that this does not mean they are looking for "something".

It is very sad for us that we keep on judging by the cover, I cannot see how people can live their lives by just the superficial look.

Seems that for the time being I will fit in no "Type". and I'm very happy and proud of myself for being unique enough not to fit a TYPE.

All for now ….

Tamara in Aqaba

I love the new shops and Cafés
I hate the plastic bottles in the sea
I love the organized traffic
I hate the dirty public beaches
I love the beautiful cold water
I hate the rates we have to pay for hotels
I love corrals
I hate the steel pipe on the bed of the sea
I love the sea
I love fish
I love the sunsets
I love boats
I love Aqaba