Blank page
Its that time of the year again. With all the parties, food, sweets and new year resolutions, one has to stop and think! Some think about the holiday pounds, some lament the passing year, some plan for the future. I find myself not to be any of them. You see I still feel a bit dizzy from the changes in my life and work.
I cannot help but feel that every day is a gift and a struggle at the same time. I stand one foot in this year that still has reminiscence of my old life, and another foot crossing the door to the New Year that has everything new in it. It has no recollection of me alone, of the way things used to be. A blank page if you wish.
Looking at the blank page, I feel happy for the new and exciting things that I can write in it with hubby, yet I feel a bit out of balance since I don't have a formatting to use in writing the page. This way I can be creative and free, but with all the uncertainties that come with this freedom. Nothing is perfect I guess and adventure has its perks.
So this year, no resolutions I'm buckling up and enjoying the ride!
Happy Eid, Merry Christmas…. Enjoy the food and sweets and your family and friends …but most of all enjoy sleeping in : )
Footprints
We humans dwell the earth for some decades, some of us longer than others. Leaving footprints behind us, Legacies if you wish, some last as long as we are there to refresh them, and some linger for a very long time, even turning into a path that many people take.
Have you ever looked at footprints of someone and were able to relate to that person. I came across footprints of an amazing man, seeing glimpses of his heart and mind, last night as I went through some of his collections, going through pages he went through so long ago, looking at the treasures he gathered in his short years, I somehow related to him. Felt his existence so strongly and profoundly, that I felt I have met him.
He lived a little over four decades but left footprints that some try to measure up to, some like me just try to learn and relate, see I did not have the chance to meet my father in law, he died twenty five years ago. In some way I feel that I'm starting to get to know him. May Allah bless his soul.
Thoughts of the weekend
To what end will we go to look good, how much pain will we endure? And how much money will we pay?
Why are all the beginnings scary?
Could we get so hurt, to the level that we get scared of happiness or the chance of happiness?
Sometimes silence is more profound than all the words in the world.
Matchmaking is fun : )
Priorities
The other day Qwaider talked about priorities between work and family. I wanted to post a comment there but did not work out, besides I have a lot to say on the matter so a separate post makes sense.
At a point in your life saying work is my number one priority is very easy to say. At other times saying my family comes first is very easy too. But I guess there is always the in-between times.
Before I was engaged and then married, the answer was easy work in my priority. I worked late, weekends and had a lot of work related dinners and trips. This was only natural and I did not ever think about it, I would orchestrate my life around work, what is left is divided between family, friends and volunteer work (which I considered as part of work any way)
Then I got engaged and I came head to head with needing to make a choice. My fiancé wanted to see me as much as possible, but I have a demanding job, which meant I needed to make a decision if I will work late or just leave on time, so I can spend some time with my fiancé. Later on I got married and things became more challenging. I needed to be home after hours directly since my working hours are not that short to start with. And beside missing my husband, I had a home to keep, we had people visiting to congratulate us, and other family responsibilities.
At that point I had to decide that my husband and our life together is more important than my work, and that I have to settle for giving 100% but not 150%, that yes at times I might need to skip a dinner or taking staff on tourist trips. That I will need to turn off my phone and not take business calls at all hours of day and night.
Now this might sound so normal to some people, but this is not that easy. You are used to a way of life and a way of work, changing it (even if means less work) is not that easy. And as your whole life changes you will hold the one stable thing in your life –you job- as you are holding to dear life. This does not mean in any way you don't love all changes in your life, but no matter how great they are, they are still changes that you need to adapt to.
Mothers may face the same thing, all of a sudden they have this bundle of joy that they love, but at the same time all the responsibilities associated with it, staring to feel like they are dissolving in this new role, thus holding on to the familiar even though it might be energy consuming. This might not even be the case, but this is how I see it.
