I wish I did not know….

Still looking at my screen I reach to my hand bag and get out my lip balm, I love this one its so nice looking and smelling and tasting. I apply some and get back to work. This probably describes something you have done " ladies " million of times so far. But a thought came to mind what is this made of ? so I googled the ingredients of my lip balm and boy O boy I wish I did not!!

Polybutene, petrolatum, lanolin, ceresin, lanolin oil, BIS-Diglycery, polyacyladpate-2,benzyl, benzoate, isopropyl palmitate, stearalkonium hectrorite, ozokerite, limonene, citral, saccharin, propylene carbonate, linalool, benzyl salicytate, benzyl alcohol.

May contain : Micra CI 77019, titanium dioxide CI 77891, Iron oxides CI 77491/ CI 77492/ CI 77499, Yellow 5 lake CI 19140, Red lake CI 15850:1

These are the ingredients, in short they are PETROL, WAX from SHEEP HAIR and several things from citrus peels. So I have been liking for so many months Sheep wax egh !!

Now people lets concentrate this is lip balm !! not even lip color or hair product, this is as basic as things get in the cosmetics world.

I would hate to find out what all those other things contain.

All for now ....

JP meet-up WHY ?

I have been asked several times today if I was going to attend the JP meet up. Well to be honest I was not planning to and I dismissed the idea when I first read about it as unnecessary. And that was that till today.

This lead me to thinking, well why do people who have a blog to express their feelings, beliefs, ideas and views, or what ever reason want to meet other people who do the same thing ? this is strange because many of us are very different in personality, background and education and many other levels. So why is there the need to get to know each other in person ? Well I do understand that when you read someone's blog for a while and you get to know them well and feel you could be friends, Then you suggest to that person to meet. But in a bulk like that! The reasoning eludes me.

The idea is not that strange though if actually meeting people or belonging to group, was the idea behind the blogging thing in the first place, or if its just an opportunity to meet new people and making friends, or is that part a welcomed side effect to blogging? I don't know.

Suddenly I was interested if there is criteria, that makes a good blog and a bad one. If there is low and high level of blogs. Personally in the begging I wanted a place to express myself through, and that was the level of my interest, and I rated good blogs and bad blogs according to the level of my ( liking ) but is there a criteria or something? So I asked the wise wikipedia here is what he had to say:

A blog is a website where entries are made in journal style and displayed in a reverse chronological order.
Blogs often provide commentary or news on a particular subject, such as food, politics, or local news; some function as more personal online diaries. A typical blog combines text, images, and links to other blogs, web pages, and other media related to its topic. The ability for readers to leave comments in an interactive format is an important part of many blogs. Most blogs are primarily textual although some focus on photographs (photoblog), videos (vlog), or audio (podcasting), and are part of a wider network of social media.
The term "blog" is derived from "Web log." "Blog" can also be used as a verb, meaning to maintain or add content to a blog.
As of November 2006, blog search engine Technorati was tracking nearly 60 million blogs.[1]


So basically Wiki did not know more than I did, hmm back to square one why go to a blogging community meet up?

Stuffing my face !!

I just can't stop stuffing my face, my pants started to loose the wiggle room, which by the way I had to work hard for. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. My brother says I have no will power! Very true

8:00 cheese sandwich in one hand steering wheel in the other
9:00 Coffee and cookies and keyboard ( well if any thing I'm multitasking!!)
12:30 KFC snack box
17:30 Apple Bees lots of food huge portions …then to seal the deal Triple chocolate meltdown absolutely to die for, and of course no room for air even !!

This is only yesterday, but this has been going on for two weeks. I'm even afraid to weigh myself!! So now some one will think why are you posting this?? Simply so I will embarrass my self into a diet. So please no sweet comments only nasty ones to push me back on the diet wagon.

OMG this is my 50th post and I'm talking about how fat I am!! well happy 50th post to me …

All for now ….

View from a plane ….


I got this email today that is talking about the signs of weak "Iman" some of them made sense. but one of them caught my attention, it says (Having mood swings, for instance being upset about petty things and bothered and irritated most of the time. ) well it caught my attention, because its one of the things I have my own philosophical hypothesis. I always say your Iman is like a plane you are in. when its high you can see the high buildings but they don't effect you or stand in your path, if your Iman goes down a little bit maybe the very high sky scrapers will effect you. But as it goes lower and lower houses start to matter, people start to stand in your way, till you may reach to the point that you can trip over a pebble.

When your Iman is high, no problem stands in your way or effect your mood, but as you go lower and lower, even the slightest inconvenience will shake you or change your mood to the worse. For me this is particularly true. I remember at times facing huge problems with a smile, and at times not finding a parking space is very big issue.

Things and situations may change, but if you have great Iman inside you, you will not change and you can face what ever problems you have, with a clear mind and calm heart.


All for now …

Obsessions I

Every one of us has some kind of an obsession, at least one thing we are totally in love with, for example blogging but it could be any thing. Personally I have some obsessions and today I'm going to tell you about one of them.

The Mini Cooper, I absolutely adore this car I adore it, but unfortunately cannot afford it. This is the sad part of this story, but still the same I drool at any cooper I see in the street. When I sell my dear old Mitsubishi lancer I will get a Mini Cooper, but till that happy day comes its a sweet dream …

If you have been moved by this sad love story, send me an email and I will provide you with my bank account details for donations : )

All for now ….

Illusion Vs. Reality

I have spent a couple of weeks convincing my self of something, being busy at worked helped not seeing any one. Until during the weekend I spent some time with one of my best friends and said: I have decided so and so for the following reasons, and she goes: do you believe this ? the problem is I thought I did until she asked the question!

Now, I'm not sure. I'm totally out of balance! She had a counter argument for every logical idea I had to get to my conclusion. I hated it because after being in balance on this issue after a long time was quite a relief, but now I'm back were I was.

Well, I have decided that I don't care if I live in an illusion, it's my illusion and I like it and I will take my illusion any day over someone else's reality. I'm I the only one? I mean do you every prefer a comfortable lie over the painful truth? Well you know how to deal with the lie you have picked for your self, but you don't know how to deal with the uncertainties that come hand in hand with reality.

That’s it I'm guilty I want to be passive and I choose the illusion !

All for now …..

Frustrations


Talk about a bad week, I'm in training all through the week and at the same time I have to do my regular work even though I'm at training for eight hours every day. Well to be honest if my company was not trying to turn me into an accountant against my will! I wouldn't have complained believe me. But instead of hiring a finance person at the office they had me do it, it started out fairly simple and they gradually complicated the damn thing, to the point that I'm doing now what any accountant with a BA in accounting would have been doing. The only issue here is that I did not study finance. But that did not stop them.


I guess that is life it pushes you into directions you did not plan for, you want to hear a funny thing, I got some of the concepts faster than finance managers and senior accountants, seems either I'm a genius or that since it’s an accounting software and I'm the second youngest person in the room I was more in my turf " personally I prefer the first choice"

Tamara's Corner
Feed hosted athttp://labyrinth-of-the-soul.blogspot.com/atom.xml Feed currently contains0 items Last checked feed host2 hours 15 min ago Time until next refresh44 min 44 sec left ...

Another frustration is Jordan Planet, they have added me as a citizen, a link to my blog is there on the planet citizens list, yet there is no feed from my blog, my posts seem not to show on the planet, and every time I get this message, when I check to see if they have posted any thing for me, I go NUTS !! can any one help, and yes I did email the support people there no response yet.

Bottom line, I have been working non-stop for the last 14 days, no weekend ..having most of my meals with colleagues or bosses, the first to get to the office the last to leave and I cannot see the end of my piled up work, EHH and not having feed from my blog on JP, well that just sucks

All for now .....

Restaurant Registry

I have a million things that I want to blog about, but this last week has been just crazy! But I will not write abut that now, next week I will have more time on my hands…I hope ! for now I need your help with something, in my work I have a lot of people coming to Jordan from all over the world, for meetings and trainings and so on, so I have to take them out to restaurants. This part is fairly easy you call the place make reservations for 10 people or what ever the number is, but the problem is with choosing the places.

There are just not enough places in Amman that don't serve alcohol!! If I'm taking them out I don't want any one drinking and I don't care what they do on their own time. So will you please help me start a registry of the places that are alcohol free.

The places I know are :

1- Reem Al Bawadi
2- Wild Jordan
3- Mirabelle
4- Macaronis ( I'm not sure of the spelling )
5- Casarecio


Now I'm not thinking about the kids places, I mean a place I can take senior staff, that serves good food and a good atmosphere. This is really sad a Muslim country that has only five (to my knowledge) restaurants don't serve alcohol. Well there is apple bees as well but its not a place to take senior staff. I know I cannot do any thing about this so please help me assemble a list of the places I can use.

All for now ….

Glorified pain


I'm working late at the office today, it’s a strange feeling being there alone working. Somehow the office seems very different than it looks like during the day.

Working late alone in the office helps get a lot of work done very fast, one you cannot wait to leave so you hustle, and two there are no phones, meetings or annoying coworkers to pop their head in the office and waist your time.

Still no matter what staying late at the office is a PAIN !! no matter how great TV shows make it look like. Did you ever really see a TV show that did not have someone pulling an all-nighter at work, and as a result something great happens for him\her career wise. They make it look so great but in fact its not at all.

Leave you now to go work : (

The week of good news ...

This is an amazing week blogging wise, first Qwaider starts his Qwaider Planet and I get to be part of that, which is an amazing thing and Q is doing a great job on his planet and in introducing new bloggers. So thanks Q
Then this morning I get this email …..

Congratulations!

Your Blog (http://labyrinth-of-the-soul.blogspot.com/) has been accepted and added on Jordan Planet; you are now officially a citizen!
Your posts will be featured on Jordan Planet homepage when you publish them on your blog. Kindly note that due to the heavy traffic on our server, your blog feed will be checked every 3 hours, so please allow the same amount of time to pass before you see your posts.
Keep those nice posts flowing; we love to hear your voice.
Congratulations again and welcome to Jordan Planet!

JP Team

Khalidah El Mufleh

This simply made my day I was so happy and excited finally I'm a JP Citizen! and then I realized something I DID NOT apply, or I cannot remember applying. I checked once the application form just to know what it looks like.

Don't get me wrong I'm very happy I was accepted, I just thought it was strange. In any case JP readers here I come. Ready or not ! I personally was waiting till I prove to my self that I'm offering something new in my blog, but it seems I'm doing a better job than I have expected : )

All in all ME HAPPY : )

All for now

Allow me to introduce you to …you

I like to explore my own feelings in different situations, to better understand myself and better understand others, since in the basics we are all the same. Look at it this way all cakes are made from one basic dough and the difference is the ratio between different ingredients that are always the same, then comes the extras but these extras are but 20 % of the whole cake.

If I understand myself correctly and what its made of, then I will have no problem understanding others, I may have more of one thing that they have less of, but at the same time they have a lot of a thing I have only a pinch of in me. Bottom line is we all have all the ingredients, therefore if you know the ingredients there is no problem knowing the whole.

One catch though ! you have to be honest to your self, and this is not an easy task a lot of people take the short cut and are not that honest with themselves, they try to deny some feelings and ideas they get because they feel ashamed for having them. Come on are you that comfortable admitting to yourself that you envy some people I mean really envy ! are you comfortable feeling selfish, feeling like strangling one of your parents. These are negative feelings that I'm sure we all get from time to time but if we don't explore them and analyze why we felt them, they will come back, and then you will be in the dark then as you are now if not worse.

So by truly knowing your self you will understand others better, and you will be able to improve your self, its like some one who has sleepless nights, if he continues to ignore it he will keep on not sleeping well, but if he takes a moment to analyze the situation, he will find out that for example he has a bad mattress, will he sleep any better knowing that ? he now needs to go a buy a good new mattress, do you see where I'm going with this? And I would bet he would look again at his colleague who is a bit nasty in the morning with lower back pains. Now take these examples and try to see how they relate to you and your life.

So do you really know you …?

The Best relationship ….

What is the best relationship you have? I hear people saying Mom, Dad, my wife\ husband, well you will name who you will, and some will name objects like books, my camera or what ever object related to their passion in life. I ask you why did you name that person or that thing as the best relationship you have?

Are they there for you always? I mean at any time like 24\7 ? Do they help when you need help no matter What? Do they have your best interest at heart and actually what they assume your best interest is actually that ? if you misbehaved with them will they take you back ? what if you misbehaved 10 times will they still do ? do they know you ? I mean really know you ?

I can ask relationship questions all day, I have had some great relationships in my life, built on love and respect, but still they were never perfect, well since simply we as people are not perfect by any chance. But the one and only perfect relationship we all have and share is our relationship with Allah.

He is there for us all the time and hears our prayers all the time, I was just thinking about this yesterday, he hears my prayers no matter what time I decide to pry and has promised to answer them, It does not make a difference if at the same time another person somewhere else was making a prayer. no matter how many bad deeds did we make but when we decide to go back to him he will accept us and forgive. This is why I tell you this is the best relationship in the world, I can name a lot more reasons, and so can all of you.

This is what gives me a sense of security and strength even in the darkest of nights, even where there seems to be little or no hope, I ask him and he answers me, it may not be what I exactly asked for but I know for certain its for my best. And the best thing I need not explain my problem or desire to him because he know all, and thus he will never understand me wrong or punish me for something that I did not do.

Al7amd lak ya Allah anak anta rabi wa la rab siwak"

All for now ….

My Omrah ….

As you know I was away on "Omrah" and a long vacation, the longest I have ever taken, this is why I had the long leave balance. So I took a couple of weeks away from every thing and then I traveled to KSA for "Omrah".

You cannot imagine traveling that long of a distance, dealing with a travel agent and not facing problems, aggravations and disappointments. But no matter what you are happy smiling and just feel that your soul is light.

I had the best time in " Madenah Monwarah" if you have ever been there you must have felt the magic of that place, you cannot simply wipe of that silly smile you have on your face all the time. And no need to tell you how glorious the Haram Al Madani is. Its beautiful serene though full of millions of Muslims, clean , organized and even cool with abundant supply of zamzam water. At one point I laid on the carpets and looked to the beautiful roof thinking I'm here …I'm really hear !

Walking through the streets of Madina you cannot help thinking that on these same grounds did Profit Mohammad walk and his companions; this is where it all happened, an amazing and humbling feeling.



Mecca is another story, true the nature of the place and the people is not as serene as in Madina but still once you walk into the Haram and look at the Kaabah your heart flies with joy. The acts of Omrah took about 2 hours to finish despite the millions of Muslims there, amazing I have never seen as much people as I have seen there.

The cherry on top of the cake was, the 29th night of Ramadan in Mecca and finishing of Quraan, and the amazing Do32 of sheikh Sodais, it was simply touching, the next day it rained in Meccan! I could not believe my eyes rain in Mecca, I felt that hopefully this is a sign from Allah that our prayers from the previous night will be answered.

All in all it was an amazing trip and very cleansing to the soul. And defiantly some good shopping in Jedda : ) you know the chromosome X thing we cannot help our selves.

All for now