Change ...

So sleepy and lazy, then fresh and energetic, then excited and busy, then moved to a kind of a hyper phase, but eventually got to the point of heart pounding excitement, soon after a little bit annoyed and disappointed.

All these moods and a few more I got through since this morning till now. and I thought I was not that moody, guess I was wrong estimating my moodiness. Did you ever notice how one word, one phone call and even one smile can change your mood. The human psyche is so interesting we can be as stable as a rock in the wind and as fragile as an autam leaf.

It takes time to be centered again after and external effect, no matter how stable a person is, it still takes us time to get back to our default state of mind, it varies from one person to another some people need days to recover for others it’s a matter of minutes, most naturally it depends on the external factor itself.

Will we know if something hit us so hard that it bent us out of shape? Will we think it’s a temporary thing, will we notice and know that at this place in time I was changed for ever. It maybe for the better or worse, it may effect how we preserve future events. At certain points we know that we have been forever changed and other changes come gradually like rocks caressed by the constant sea.

One thing for certain we do change, we cannot stop that but we can try to change to the better rather than to the worse.

A walk in the park

Did you ever read a book with someone ? if you did even if you are not in the same physical space with them you feel so close to each other, the idea that the other person is reading the same words and ideas entwines you, this could happen if you are watching a move or a show, or even looking at the starts in the sky at the same time.

There are many levels of intimacy and the most powerful one is the spiritual and intellectual intimacy, it builds a strong friendship and defiantly strengthens a love relationship.

There are many magical moments in life that two people can share, and they don't have to be in the same place, they just have to be together in spirit, which not many people who are together in the same place can claim! I see so many people together but worlds apart.

Another level is two people working for a common goal, the comfort of them thriving for the same thing miles away, gives a sense of security and intimacy that words just fall short to describe.

Some people live their lives never getting close enough to any one, they never took a walk through Shakespearian sonnets, or visited the gardens of " Ibn El-qayem" or knew what the labyrinths of the other persons mind and soul are planted with.

Do you ever wonder

Do you ever wonder how some people effect our lives? How some people feel so close no matter how far they are, and how some people maybe in the same room with us but at the same time be miles away. The effects of different people amazes me.

Some people you need a daily dose of, but others on a daily basis would be a slow and painful death. On other occasions you will meet someone for a short period of time and yet stay forever effected by them, and they stay alive in your heart and mind for ever. others that have been around for ever you would forget the moment they walk out of the door or you hand up the phone.

I get really touched by writers and authors, I would really be impressed by a writer or a thinker and remember them in my prayers, and you may see this silly but I wish I could meet some of them in heaven. It just amazes me how some people are so great that their words reach out for centuries and touch people's hearts and soul in such a profound way.

To try and put your hand on what makes these people so effective, and what makes others so insignificant is impossible, since I may see someone as my air and water and to others s\he would be just another face in the crowd. Yet again there are those people who touch the hearts of every one who comes in contact with them. All I can think of is that it’s a blessing, to us that we have them in our lives or that we have crossed paths with them, but I don't think that they see it as one all the time, or maybe they do.

The Best Job on earth

I was reading today an article that stated the 10 most fun jobs, well most of the 10 did not sound like fun to me so I thought I'd make a list of he 10 most fun jobs to me.

1- Restaurant and movie critic: this was one of the listed in the article and I agree with them, you get to see movies before any one else and you get to eat gourmet food, and write your fiery review, what's not like ?

2-Personal shopper: this again was on the list, I totally agree its in my genes to agree with them. Spend the day shopping with someone else's money, perfect ! I tried that before, someone would give me and my friend cash and ask us to buy them makeup or a present, loads of fun !

3-Trainer: this is my own, trainers after a couple of years have all the material that they need, and just need to update them from time to time, but training people is really fun, you get to travel, meet new people all the time, its not a boring desk job. Besides they make good cash !

4- A cooking show: which includes traveling the world to report on the best foods, this could not get any better, travel and good food and getting paid for it.

5-Travel guide\book writer: again you may have noticed the pattern any thing that includes travel and new places is a job for me.

6-A business owner: it does not have to be a multimillion establishment, but any business that is your own without having a boss is great, I know it will be hard work but it gives you a space for breathing and creativity.

7- A photographer for national geographic: travel the world, take beautiful and interesting photographs.

8- Gardener\florist: spending the whole day in the fresh air, working with trees and flowers is just an amazing thing, or as a florist you get to be creative and work with flowers

9- TV\Radio show host: you get to talk and people listen to what you have to say, choose interesting topics and guests this must be an amazing thing, for me at least since I have a natural talent for talking.

10- Humanitarian Worker: this is my actual line of work, but I work in Jordan, I wish I had my same job but in Africa.

This is not a list of the jobs I could have, but the ones I believe I would enjoy doing, and I did not put in mind what each one pays and if it has stability, since it’s a wish list it's not limited with practicality.

Green almonds


Yesterday one of our American colleagues tries green almonds for the first time in his life. He saw someone selling it on the street and asked us what that is; when we told him they are green almonds he was surprised that we eat them. We got him some and he tried them for the first time, this is not the first time we know that Americans don't know we eat fresh almonds, but this got me to thinking about first times

When was the last time you tasted something new, did something for the first time? We all do new things from time to time even daily, but we let them slip we don't savor the moment and experience they just slide by as if they are something we did a million times before.

You will notice that the world is brighter place with each new smell, taste and experience…enjoy the things around you and don't let them slip away unnoticed and unappreciated.

Stop the Hunt !

This morning I was picked up by a friend, to go to the gym as usual at around 6 am, we pass by the police station on our way. I was telling her about my stolen car when I saw a familiar looking car parked by the station ! so we stopped to get a closer look, and it sure was my car.

Unfortunately it was all mashed up ! it was in such a horrible accident that I cannot believe they were able to get out of it alive. Long story short its ready to go to sleep in car heaven : (

Since I was so cheap and I don't have general insurance! I have to start paying for a new car from scratch ! well money comes and goes and as long as I'm healthy, I don't really care what happens to material stuff.

PS: I will add the photos of what she looked like after the accident soon

My Car has been stolen !

(amended)
Dear Friends my car has been stolen sometime between last night and early this morning,( al7amd lilah)….I have reported it stolen at the police station but some how I have the feeling they are not going to loose sleep over it!

We have been informed that sometimes some young guys steel a car for the night, use it until they finish the fuel and then dump it wherever! So if you guys can keep an eye out while driving for my car, and let me know if you find it I will really appreciate it.

It may not be the best car out there but its mine, and I would like it back if possible.

It’s a silver 1991 Mitsubishi hatchback the license plate number is : 673119, and it has one of those things to attach a trailer on I'm not sure what they are called by you have probably seen them around on the back of cars. I live in "Jandaweel " hassan Khawaja Street, so it could be possibly be in that area or Bayader Wadi Al seer, 8th circle.

Please help me find my car !

PS: I cannot believe I don't have any pictures of my car ! this is a look a like : ( well at least you can tell what the car looks like

Mom's advice

I for one did not take this generic mom's advice, I bet you have heard this one before. "Marry a man who loves you more than you love him " I beg to differ mom, but evidently one of my best friends took it to heart. I got a call from her yesterday saying you know your mom is right! I poured in examples of people who fell pray to this wide spread advice, "no good comes out of that" I said

She was really considering accepting this guy's offer of marriage even though she has no feelings towards him, he obviously loves her, but she only respects the guy he is a great friend she says. Well I cannot really get how people will marry another person that they don't love, I'm not the one to tell that you have to be head over heels for the man, but at least to be warm towards him, I know that married life is different than the pink glasses phase, but how dim will it look if you did not love the person to start with, if you did not have a fluttering heart and butterflies in your stomach period, I cannot imagine what your relationship will look like , ten years down the road.

Since she was torn, my advice is to talk to him for a while and go out with him- before you go re-check who's blog your reading- I will like to tell you that this an accepted practice in Islam, it does not mean go out with tons of people and settle with one of them 3 years later, but rather if you have someone who already wants to marry you, and you are not sure you can have a few phone conversations and to go out with him to a public place chaperoned that is! This came as a surprise to her and I bet to all of you as well.

The shocker for me was that she was reluctant to do so, what ! you were torn to marry the dude or not, and now you don't know if you can live through a few phone calls ! I don't know how smart people can be this stupid !

Tamara Main time

Today in planet Tamara it’s the 15th of Apr, besides it being payday the 15th bears no particular meaning. Today I have written all the payments cheques dated 15th of Apr ! boy I would have been dead if I did not amend them in time, I wrote 4 cheques that would have made 4 unpleasant conversations! Ooops

Hope the rest of the week will be better than the way it started !

People I wish did not talk !

There are some occupations that your communication skills are the bread winner skills, in other words you need to talk your ass off to get paid, like people in sales. But on the other hand there are jobs, that people who are holding them interact with people directly, but should keep the blabber at a minimum, though some are very famous for talking too much like hair dressers.

The list is my total whish list, of the people I wish will not talk while they are doing their job, so here it goes :

1- Hair Dressers: these are infamous for talking a lot, some people enjoy the chit chat with their hair dressers, but I whish they would not! what is wrong with you going my hair without forcing me into a stupid conversation.

2- Massagers and skin care experts: I was having a facial that includes a facial massage and the lady kept talking to me this is so annoying, I wished she would have left me to enjoy the massage without having to do small talk. She is my mom's friend and she gives a wonderful facial and I don't think she talks to any one while working but since she knows my mom I had to suffer.

3- Dentists: I think they are told to talk to patients to shift their focus away from what is happening in their mouth, but how do you react to what they are saying ! and the worse part is when they crack a joke while both of his hands and three other tools are in your mouth, not funny!!

4- Waxers: I don't know what they are called but the women who wax our legs (ladies that is), the process is painful enough you don't have to add stupid conversation to the list.

5-Drivers: especially taxi drivers, I don't want to talk to you ! I don't know you and we have nothing in common, why are you talking to me?

I hope you don't get me wrong, I don't see that I am any better than these people, I'm not a snob. But the work they do is either something I want to relax while they are doing or I'm too tense while they are doing, so the conversation is not welcome even if you are my best friend, and or drivers I like to drift in my thoughts between destinations.

Dreamer

(I have written this post more than a month ago, I was going through my draft posts file and found it, it is still true now as it was then)

I Don't know where to start, I don't know when things started or how will they end, I wish I had more control over things …over my feelings hopes and aspirations. I admit it I am a dreamer maybe this is what got me so far in my life, and got me the success in my career and maybe this is the cause of my fidgeting soul. I work so hard towards the dreams I have and the places I see for my self in my minds eye. The curse of being a dreamer is not with the dreams we can attain. The things that come with hard work but it is with things we have no control over, dreams that snow ball but we never seem able to make them become a reality no matter how hard we work, plan or pray for them.

They say big dreams tire the body, I ware off my body in the pursuit of my dreams, some times its lack of sleep, long working hours. It is so difficult to cope with the fact that I want it all ….for this life and for the life hereafter, I don't want diamonds and furs I want to feel that I reached my potential, I want to make a difference, I want to help others …these are the things I want. My dreams are many and I feel that sometimes I'm tired. You know I will take hard work any day over a night tossing in bed thinking and rethinking about the things about peeks I'm not able to reach.

I feel that I have to work harder, do more things plan better, help more people. Improve my self get more knowledge. But the thing I want most is to be in peace with myself with the things that I might never reach. I admit it my soul is aching; I feel that I must re-evaluate things in my life and reset my priorities, make a few decisions I just don't know where to start or how to get around to them.