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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

You are what you wear

You are what you wear

Naturally I do not agree with this statement. Not every one who is dressed well or groomed deserves our respect and naturally not every person who is not dressed well deserves our disdain.

What brought these ideas to my mind is what happened to me yesterday at one of the Ministries. You have to go the front desk to request the file you need, naturally you need to be an authorized person to do so. I filled the form gave it to the employee, he stamped it and I proceeded to get the file. Standing next to me was a simple man, and the employee at the desk asked for all sorts of proof that he was authorized to get the file. He did not even ask me my name!

During my maternity leave, other staff at my office had trouble getting one document-that is fully legal- accepted because they sent a driver. When I submitted the document they did not even look twice at it ! Which really made me mad, is the document worse or any less legal because it was brought in by a driver.

I was talking to my supervisor about this, and she said this happens all the time, people discriminate against each other all the time, depending on how they view the person in front of them, weather it was what they are wearing or how they look. Even in stores they look at what you are wearing to determine if you are a worth while customer!

Do the clothes really make the person? There are researches that say better looking people get promoted more often in work than their plainer looking pears. Is it possible that humanity has sunk this low !

96 comments:

hamede said...

Yes humanity has sunk this low .

Tamara said...

Hamede

Thanks for passing by. this is really sad

last of jordanian roses said...

Daer tamara
1st of all
you need not to be sad, if any thing that means you a are on sharp, good looking woman, other wise, such thing would not be happening to you.

But lets not talk about looks cause what happens to you, exactly happens to mean, except not only in places of work, but even couple of times, at the air port where my tick was economy and was up graded to crown with nothing but a a sweet shy wink.

This tamara is called CHARM.
“Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.” Albert Camus (1913 - 1960)

still

yesterday night
I made an experiment:
I went to the supermarket I always shop at, every body knows my there, I always look dashing.. every one takes extra care of me…. Yester day, i changed my dress code
A blue pj trouser , a tanck top, with a Manchester united jacket ( it was their game last night).
I felt as comfy as always….
I was treated a well as I always doses….
And I didn’t even get on dirity look from any one


So tamara, I don’t think if it’s the fabric you are wearing, it’s the skin you are….
The way you look some one in in thr eye,
Your smile
The way you shake hands
The way you sound
The way you stand sit and walk
That’s what realy matters.

With all the love in the world

Tamara said...

Dear Last of Jordanian roses

My point is it is very sad that people judge each other according to looks, since non of us got to choose how they look. and at the same time wearing fancy clothes does not make any one a better person. thus should get the same treatment as any other person.

But thank you for the complimnet

Tamara said...

Dear Last of Jordanian roses

My point is it is very sad that people judge each other according to looks, since non of us got to choose how they look. and at the same time wearing fancy clothes does not make any one a better person. thus should get the same treatment as any other person.

But thank you for the complimnet

Anonymous said...

Yes! That is so true. This isn't the first time I read your blog. I like what you write and this is a good post.

So Yes! I totally agree with you. "Last of Jordanian roses" made a good point about being treated differently only because you are a female. It happens all the time in Jordan... maybe every where else too.

Speaking of my experience in Europe. It is a little different. The racism is rather political than on looks. I came across many people who knew that I am an Arab. Not all, but many do think I come from a "camel tribe" - as they call it. Even if I dress better than they do - "not that I care about how they dress", but they still think they're superior just because I am an Arab.

And yes. I do hope that people stop being shallow. The driver maybe is a driver because of certain circumstances, which doesn't make any one of us better than him. I have met a waitress in her fifties - She is the sweetest soul I've ever met. Looks don't count. Never.

Tamara said...

Chaiotik

Thanks for passing bay, discrimination is wrong in any form, I was just talking about one of many.

By the way the driver is a law student, but what do they know.

Anonymous said...

And this waitress may have dropped out of med school. You can never know. You are right :)

Unknown said...

|t's great to have you back, congrats on the baby, may Allah make her a pious one and a heaven walking on earth for you and your spouse.

It's not only what you wear, it's the whole appearance of a person that gets people are excited about labeling one another. As a wise friend of mine explained to me, people are too busy to think or even worse; they won’t bother themselves with trying to understand one another, it’s much easier to work with specific stereotypes than trying to understand and deal with individuals.

So instead of Hasaneen and Gamal which is time consuming and wasteful for those brief moments of interaction with all the hard working Egyptian handymen and workers… you have “Masarwih” which is a better label. And instead of Rohani, Schandani and Asoka, you Srilankans who some are “very good” in disciplining them and getting the best out of “them”…

And instead of dealing with Roba, Tamara and Tasneem, you might as well deal with “muhajjabat” or Hijabi Girl” (I heard that once on a Jazeera documentary), they all wear it, so they ought to be thinking the same way too, wouldn’t they? And following the same logic, Basem, Sa’eed and Waleed are just “sheikh” who speak in classic Arabic all the time, and you end up with 4~6 basic stereotypes compromising the society rather than the 6 million people we are, much easier!

On the other hand, you have some “western” circles, where people have reached the majestic heights of human fellowship as dictated by our Prophet –pbuh- some 1400 years ago, when he taught us that God does not judge that of our appearances but of our substances, to which we oblivious Moslem and Arab societies have understood as “You Human should be busy judging other people’s appearances while you neglect your own substance”… Alas

Tamara said...

Basem

Thanks for passing by ! what you have said makes so much sense. its so sad that we live in such a socity. its a rality that we live and cope with without noticing, how many times did we put on too tight shoes or clothes just to empress someone ! and many other examples, so sad

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