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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

You are what you wear

You are what you wear

Naturally I do not agree with this statement. Not every one who is dressed well or groomed deserves our respect and naturally not every person who is not dressed well deserves our disdain.

What brought these ideas to my mind is what happened to me yesterday at one of the Ministries. You have to go the front desk to request the file you need, naturally you need to be an authorized person to do so. I filled the form gave it to the employee, he stamped it and I proceeded to get the file. Standing next to me was a simple man, and the employee at the desk asked for all sorts of proof that he was authorized to get the file. He did not even ask me my name!

During my maternity leave, other staff at my office had trouble getting one document-that is fully legal- accepted because they sent a driver. When I submitted the document they did not even look twice at it ! Which really made me mad, is the document worse or any less legal because it was brought in by a driver.

I was talking to my supervisor about this, and she said this happens all the time, people discriminate against each other all the time, depending on how they view the person in front of them, weather it was what they are wearing or how they look. Even in stores they look at what you are wearing to determine if you are a worth while customer!

Do the clothes really make the person? There are researches that say better looking people get promoted more often in work than their plainer looking pears. Is it possible that humanity has sunk this low !

Thursday, May 07, 2009



First let me start by saying this is my personal view. I don't claim that I know better than anyone, but I assume many of you will agree with me. I feel that people mistreat advice! Honest and wise advice is one of the greatest gifts you can receive. How many times did we stand on a cross road and did not know were to go, would it not have been amazing to get a good piece of advise?

Unfortunately people either don't give advice or they throw it at unsuspecting bystanders. What is the distinction between advise and interference. A rule of thumb is a person needs to ask for the advise, or really need to be close to that person to give it without them asking for it.

I had complete strangers share their parenting experience with me, I did not appreciate a complete stranger telling me that I'm wrong to take my baby out of the house or that she needs another layer of clothing. Again taking the advise is up to the person receiving it. You don't buy a frame for someone as a gift and say: "hang it in this room on this particular wall now!" you give the present that you took the time to pick for them, but they decide when and if they are going to use it.

Another issue with advice is that a lot of people just don't have the generosity of heart to give real advise, they just give a generic idea that is not useful to anyone and at times hurtful. I had people tell me while I'm pregnant, sleep and rest as much as you can because as soon as the baby is born you will not sleep again! After delivery I did not sleep much I was exhausted my hormones were out of control, and their honest little piece of advice made me feel my life is over. And there is no light at the end of the tunnel! I now make sure to tell moms to be, you will be very tired, you will have lack of sleep, but hang in there in a month every thing will be better. That way I hope that the light at the end of the tunnel will make someone have hope and enjoy their motherhood more.

Please people think before you give someone advise, and remember what you tell people is to help that person, not to portray your self as an angel, martyr or a guru! And most importantly be honest to your self first and then to the person who has trusted you enough to ask for your opinion.