Sunday, April 03, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Old School vs. New School
As I have mentioned before,during the past few weeks I have been in Serbia handling a few documents. and in the newly democratized country or newly capitalized country if you would. things are bureaucratic and foggy. so i was going crazy registering and getting my passport and registering Mira. any way that is not the point. what struck my attention is the old family friend who has been helping us work through the system.
I noticed that he tends to listen to what ever the "civil servants" would tell him whiteout discussion. My brother or I would question and ask about the regulations, he did not have the inclination to question anything they say or any document they ask for. which I find really strange. another thing is he wants to finish a task before starting the next one, even though we would save a lot of time and money for that matter if we did a few steps in parallel, he resisted every time my brother or I would suggest doing so.
Not sure if this is really the difference between older people who lived in another time, or is it an ex-Communist regime thing. but I am always struck by how older people " our parents generation" view a working week as short waiting period were we view it as a huge waste if time, just because we live in a very fast time. and they lived in a time where things were taken slower.
I see this as an advantage we have over them, but also I lament the fact that we did not have the chance to sit back and relax. and not to have to stress about deadlines, not to have to run in circles all the time. Time means more to us than it did not them, a lot of time what my dad would view as a task needing a week, I think if I worked in this speed I would be fired !
Not sure which is better and which is worse but there is a difference. I guess one day we would be old school too.
PS. The photo above is taken by my brother in the near by park a couple of days ago.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Thursday, January 06, 2011
How can someone be with us one moment breathing living loving and all of a sudden with no preparation leave. I like to believe, no I believe that they start a new and fresh life a form of life we cannot imagine, they just move on the natural next step of life. I guess we get prepared for this day in a way or another, but the idea and the pain is so profound to conceive and understand that we choose to ignore it in the hope that it will not happen to us or to the ones that we love.
I guess we get put face to face with our weakness and humanity, it’s a humbling experience. In a strange way it is empowering to know that we can handle pain and we can find hope and life and happiness even in the darkest of times. This makes you think of how this life will never be perfect, and how we need really to count our blessings. My daughter and my husband have helped me in so many ways, that now the small things are put in perspective. You get to see and feel first hand the marvel of humans …the marvel of the creation. The marvel of the creator
Feelings have a force so strong so universal, language imprisons feelings its like trying to fit the sea in a jar, you attempt to take the feelings and memories of the happy times near the see, by picking a few rocks or shells or some salty water. But it cannot be the same it’s a small and trivial part of what sea actually is.
Words fall short, I wish I had a better grasp on words and language that I could use them to express what I feel inside maybe it could release some of the pressure inside. I wish my word and prayers could turn into angles that will travel the skies and depths of the earth and carry my message of love and gratitude. I wish I could in some way some form help you and be with you…I wish I can send you some of the love you so generously surrounded us with. I wish and I wish and I pray and I miss you and love you
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
To the fountain of love
This is one of the hardest things I had to write in my life. And I say I had because there is a burning feeling that is compelling me to write something about her.
Dear mother …its so hard to live without you, without your warmth and love. I could not expect- being such an independent person as I am- that I would be missing you so much. So many times I wish I could just see you for one more time. To see the love in your eyes. You have given me so much in my life, more than I ever gave you credit for, more than I thanked you for. I know you lived your life trying to give us the things that you never had and wished you had, and you died with us having a lot and you having nothing. I have hope against hope and belief against belief that you are in a better place.
I don’t feel like my self ..I feel like a little girl that has lost her mother. What is keeping me sane is the promises of seeing you again, and that you are some place happy.