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Thursday, September 07, 2006

Mourning ….

Mourning is on of the natural phases in life. Every one of us has to pass through it at one point or another during their life; it may occur to you that mourning is in the calamity of death only.

This is a common misconception in my opinion; since it could be for many reasons, in heart break, in biding farewell to a dear friend, when you lose a hope you had, when a certain phase of your life is over.

The problem is that we don't feel that we have the right to mourn our lost hopes and dreams. This is when the problem starts when we don't get the sadness and disappointment out of our systems. The frustration will be still lurking in the darkness for a long time even if we choose to ignore it. Then at the slightest bump in the road, all those intensely dark feelings we thought we have buried a long time ago spring to life in full ugly glory.

This will lead you to an even bigger darkness and more intense feelings of failure and unhappiness. Until- if not resolved and mourned truly- one day they will snow-ball in a huge monster that the fear of will cripples us for life.

I see two reasons why we fail to mourn or misfortunes, one is the false pretension of strength, the second if the false hope we cling to, the maybes may kill us if we are not careful, and pretending to be strong and invincible may lead to big a hole in you soul.

I call upon thee my phantoms…my monsters …my disappointments …my lost hopes …. All you creatures of darkness come forth and face me ….face the light in my heart …face my belief. For you all must vanish for onces and for all times to come. For even you must know that tomorrow is a new day …and a new hope.


(Tealover) said...

Tamara ..

how about depression .. this could be the sophisticated name for mourning our misfortunes and hopes .. I could feel the words you scattered in this post .. its true why we fail to mourn , we do fake strengths , and we do cling into mayb'es and false hopes all the time .. when something means a lot to us .. or it could be that we simply held to that thing for too long , that we no longer see our attention can be directed to else where ..
we sometimes overcome our losses and depression , but as you said , if we did not got it all out of our system , then a drawback is always possible, and we my fall into the mourning state again ..

I simply like this post ..

Anonymous said...

Asalam 3alaykom,
Tamara,may allah bless you and guard you and maintain that understanding and clear insight that you sha2 allah la qwata ella belah.
Amazing how you analyzed a certain situation and state of mind that i was in,sob7an allah,if only i can say if..if i read that then it would've been a true eye opener.
yet it did great help now.
thank you

أبو دواة said...

morning night .. I still knight .. defending Quran ..

plz don't forget to visit my blog

(Tealover) said...

Tamara ,
you've been tagged , check my blog :) .. you don't have to of course , only if you felt like it !

Anonymous said...

My dear friend .... the one that we can never forget, is the one that took away part of our life with it. Part of our souls, part of our hearts, and took the light away.
We can try and forget, but, there is no way to take the pain ... time will never hear all wounds ... we just get to live with them sometimes ... but they will always surface

Tamara said...


I have to disagree, in my opinion mourning the loss of something is not depression, with mourning it is with something you know you have lost, you will miss it but you know you can never have again. this is why we go through the phase of sadness, so you can get over it and continue your life.

But I agree with every thing else : ) especially ( or it could be that we simply held to that thing for too long , that we no longer see our attention can be directed to else where ..) this is so true

The Caller

I'm honored to have you in my corner : )

Thank you for your kind words and I'm glad I was kind of help to you.

Bolbol Hayran

Welcome to my corner, I will check your blog and you are welcome to keep passing by.

Danah ….Tagged !! hmmmm I'll see

Qwaider : Well I did not mean we have to forget, we mourn the people that kept a part of our souls and we continue with our lives, this does not mean to forget about them, just to come to terms with the fact that we no longer have them and we will never again be with them …just as simple and painful as that !