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Monday, February 19, 2007

Decisions .....

What is a decision? It’s a conscience choice to take a certain action; it is a commitment to a choice or to a person or a group of people. This is why I feel that decision making is a process, an important one at that matter we grow so much through this process, good and bad decisions in our lives help us grow and mature and figure out our identity and path.

Why do we make decisions, I love decisions that come naturally and easily but these are so rare, you know the thing you grow slowly into and a change in your life that comes effortlessly, you know you have commitment to this new state of mind, but you did not have to go through the whole deal of thinking and analyzing. Then there are those nasty ones ! the decisions you know you need to make but are so afraid, lazy or reluctant to make, because they may carry responsibility and even worse are not revocable.

At times we are pushed towards a decision, and we go through the process kinking and screaming, well the most effective decision is the one we make, following orders to change a thing or to commit to another is following orders not a conscience decision. At other times people who care about us see things we don't and are trying to convince us that making a decisions is imperative and good for us, this adds pressure to an already difficult task.

How do we go about making a decision, well if it’s a choice between two things or more a pro and con list usually helps, but in cases of a single choice dilemma it's not as easy, but still a pro and con list is a very good idea and sheds light. But the Queen of hearts of all decisions is the moral one, the path of life choice …the pure moral and philosophical ones! The decision is to take roads that are not filled with roses. But you feel things in your heart have reached a saturation level that the status quo is a suicide of the soul and a killer of the creativity and mind.

I feel that I'm on the verge of a decision, I'm pushed in that direction by my mentors. Can you imagine how hard it is that the people you respect the most in your life, tell you have to make that decision. Let alone the fact that the decision is not an easy one by any standard but to think that you have to live up to very high expectations.

This post may be general but at the same time its so personal, but I felt that I was compelled to write since writing helps me think! and I needed to vent some of the steam.


Anonymous said...

i made a decision not to make any decisions !!

i have no idea what i am talking about!!

Tamara said...


Soon enough you will be forced into plenty of them : )

rare said...

Hope this might help
"To make the right decision, take into account:-

* the situation u r n now
* the situation u would like to b n, n th future
* resources available
* what other people will accept
* the feasibility of different options
* the time factor

From book: 30 Minutes ... to Make the Right Decision, by Jane Smith"

Tamara said...

Thanks rare for the advice : ) and wlecome to my corner ...

Ammar said...

If I could read between the lines, and that I can sometimes..then making a decision in this case needs backup, the backup here is knowledge..the more you know..the better prepared you are to make the decision, so know more, think about what you know, where you fit there..before you decide.

Mrs. Al Ramahi said...

Dicisions are commitments.. we should be fully aware of what we put ourselves into.. I like :)

PŕōuđPāŀĩ said...

decisions decisions decisions! life is all bout choices i reckon.. but decisions are harder than we expect.. laheik i dont think much, basally isti5ara w bawakkel amri. w usually i follow my intuition, im a woman for crying out loud lol our intuition rarely fails us..

hope all goes well bannout, and follow that feeling in ur gut, it seldom disappoints us. :)

Tamara said...


You are absolutely correct, I know I need more information because I need to visualize things to determine if I'm up for it or not, my friends think I'm crazy but that's just me, I have to know every thing in advance. thanks for the good advice… * slight freaking out that people may actually get what I mumble about *

Mrs alramahi

Thanks I appreciate your visits : ) and kind words


Ista5ara is a very important part of a decision, but its not isti5ara if you just do the do3a2 and sit around for the decision to make itself, you have to think and consult with trusted people. So I'm just talking about my part of the equation of decision making

PŕōuđPāŀĩ said...

i agree, it depends 3al 6abe3 of course, ana 6ab3i ma bastasheer 7ad, i cant, ana private jiddan bi ktir umur, id rather astasheer rabbi. w dayman fi signs. most ppl overlook them.

wish u the best again :)

Tamara said...


Yes it's a tabe3 thing, and I agree with you there are always signs ...I keep telling people if you look hard enough you will see things a lot clearly

and as you said before we are women we have a strong intuition : )

But in my case that I wrote the post about its not an issue of signs or intuition, its a lot more complicated : (

The Mo said...

Taking a decision sometimes could be hard but we have to take them.
I personally think of a "best case scenario" & a "worst case scenario" upon which I base my decisions upon :)


ما خاب من استخار ولا ندم من استشار
Therefore istakhara is between you & ALLAH
However, istishara is between you & close people who may advice you

هيّ said...

Asalam 3alaykom,
i second themo..
but i's gotta come pure and clear from within u..right?
as being sure at heart!
may allah bless u with great steps ahead and clear decisions.
regards dear tamara :)

Mala2e6 said...


you wrote this

I feel that I'm on the verge of a decision, I'm pushed in that direction by my mentors

don't let anyone push you to take a take their advice,and then take your time to decide whether u want this or one knows what you need but YOU

Tamara said...

The mo

thanks for passing by, I do too actually always think what's the best thing that could come of a particular decision and what's the worse thing that could happen.


I totally agree things have to come out of heart to be true and lasting ...: )


I agree i mentioned that point as well decisions in order to be true have to come from us not from pressure ...on the other hand the pressure of mentors is totally different from pears, society and even family. they know you very well, they know what you want to achieve in your life and they are there to guide and support, so its not a negative thing.

Anonymous said...

R u fine Tamara? I missed you today ,I noticed your absent for a while I hope you are doing well friend..take care ;)

Tamara said...

Red rose

thank you for asking about me, that's so sweet of you : )

I'm sooooo busy at work that I work till late at night and when I get home I cannot wait to put my head on the pillow : )