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Monday, March 24, 2008

Veteran moms ….HELP!

Veteran moms ….HELP!

Enjoy your time before you have kids …these are best days of your life, they will not last long so enjoy them … will kill any joy you have in your life….these are examples of actual things mothers told me, I can see that they love their children to death, but for some reason children are a burden, I know taking care of children especial a few of them, is not an easy job. But I was shocked !!

I mean I would love to have kids some day; actually I would love to have a lot of kids. But I'm just shocked! I mean I started thinking, will I loose my life for hem, and will my career suffer? I look in the eyes of some of the mothers, and I see bitterness which is very scary to me, bitterness is such a negative feeling. Is it's natural to feel that way?

I understand that a mother cannot decide on the spot to go for the weekend to Lebanon, or go out to see a movie without planning for it, but when did the need to be more organized leave such a bitter taste. Hubby and I enjoy the fact that we can pack our bag and head to Syria or Aqaba on the spot. But will it hurt us that much to take the trip a couple of days after we feel the urge for it instead of a couple of hours?!

The advice and view point of veteran mothers would really be appreciated, but what I was able to rationalize on my own is that women who did not have much of a life to start with, will suffer a lot more than someone with different interests and life experiences. Someone who has good adaptation skills will have an easier time moving from being responsible for one person ( or should we count the husbands ;p )which is you, to being responsible for a fragile being that is totally depended on you.

The responsibility is great. but there are bright sides to having children and taking care of them, besides if you put your mind to it you can still have a life that is your own, and be a good mother at the same time, it just takes some determination, planning and understanding that you will never be perfect !

Is what I believe correct? I'm I delusional? When I'm alone I feel that I totally make sense, but when I listen to the things some young moms say I just cannot not wonder. HELP !


Me said...

i think it all comes down to what the expectations are and how to deal with having extra people in your life to care for but never forget to love and add so much LIFE to your own. Life is very dull without children!
Re-arranging and re-organizing your life after having kids is the key.lay down your priorities and you will be happy and will never have a feeling of guilt and bitterness on missing out on things, such as a spontaneous day trip or a weekend alone with your husband.
Every period in our lives has its own flavor, special moments and challenges. you would not want to miss out on raising kids and enjoying them, after all, it is a fact of life that kids grow up and leave on their own and then you will have all the time in the world to take a weekend trip to wherever!
but children are the most precious treasure to have and enjoy...i wish you many cute babies to brighten up your days and fill them with lots of baby love, its the best!

Unknown said...

My life has never been perfect and it will never be...and I do my best to enjoy every stage of my life to the fullest, adding different materials, subjects, characters and responsibilities to each stage is a part of this enjoyment too!
I do my best never to get bored, but spicing up life and experiencing new things makes life even better...
I'm excited about the new character in my life...soon inshallah...I just can't put myself to think about what kind of life I'll be living after her arrival, but I'm sure I'm going to love it -inshallah-, for me It's just about time for a change ;)

Inshallah, once you are ready, you'll get as many happy cute lil ones as you want :D

Tamara said...


Thank you for your wisdome, I'm glad that I was not delusional when I saw a very bright side to having childern, thanks so much !


I did not write what I did because I belive its true, but I've heard it so many times that I started to doubt even the maternal instinct I have, you will make a wonderful momy : )

Anonymous said...

Poor Tamara! Don't listen to the bitter nay-sayers...what they have in life they will complain about.

Parenting is tough work, but it brings out the very best in a woman when she puts her heart and soul into it. We pour our hearts and lives into our babies (husbands first, tho)and the result is a more mature and wise individual in ourselves.

Careers can be put aside for a few years. Give a child their mom their first 4 years, it is the best thing they can have.

Tamara said...


Thanks, I appreciate the confirmation, yes its hard work but its rewarding. I just needed real mothers to tell me its true: ) thanks a million

Sam said...

life does change after having kids...but it is not a bad thing...we still decide to go on mini vacations on the spot with our two munchkins...but i am glad that that hubby and I waited for few years to have kids so we get to know each other better..and got to do couples stuff..and i gave my career a headstart...i have no bitterness about putting my career on hold...and love being a stay at home mom raising my kids..but i think i may have had some bitterness if I had my babies early in our marriage..when i had just recently graduated and if I did not get to do couples stuff with hubby for a while..

Tamara said...


thank you for coming by : ) I feel it depends on the person, if they were the type who are spontaneous they will find away to still have fun with their kids.

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