The point of no return
All my life I did not imagine that there is such a thing, a point in life or a commitment that you just cannot bail out of. You find school too much to handle take a year off, change your major or quit all together, it may not be the smartest decision you make, but you can and you have the choice to do so. A job you can walk away from, even marriage you can just wake up one morning and decide it's no longer the thing for you.
This feeling was a safety net for my sanity all my life, the feeling that once things get to difficult or too bad, I can look for my best interest and leave. That does not mean I'm a quitter of any sort, but that gave me the feeling of control over my life.
So there is no turning back on this ! that was my thoughts at the moment I saw the positive result of my pregnancy test. I was happy, excited and scared at the same time. You cannot believe the mixed feelings I had at the moment. Hubby had the same feelings, we both love children and we wanted ones of our own, but still at the moment it came true we could not control our feelings.
We have made a commitment for life to take care of our child, and this is one thing neither of us has the choice, or will ever consider not following through and giving it our best, even when things are tough.
I hope my tone does not give the wrong impression, I'm so happy and excited, I'm going to finish my first trimester soon. I kept the news secret till I was sure, see with no belly and no movement you just cannot imagine that its true, all I had were two red lines on a stick. But as we went to the doctor and saw the baby things started to slowly sink in.
The due date is around the 25th of January 2009!!