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Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Green-Eyed Monster

The green- eyed monster

According to wikipedia jealousy is an
emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love. Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust. Jealousy differs from envy in that jealousy is about something one has and is afraid of losing, while envy refers to something one does not have and either wants to acquire or to prevent another from acquiring.
Further, Jealousy is an emotion whose effects “frequently get out of control” (Goldie, 2000, p. 229). It is a common observation that the experience of jealousy can last much longer than the one of a basic emotion like anger, without losing its original intensity, and, in a paradox captured in
Rochefoucauld's maxim, it may outlast the attachment which it fears losing: "jealousy is always born with love; it does not always die with it."
I find jealousy fascinating. I felt jealous several times during my marriage and I never can understand why. See sometimes I would joke with some male colleagues, or I would find myself commenting to a friend about a good looking guy and I would think if I found out the exact same thing about my husband would I be OK with it? And the answer is always NO! Even though having friends at work from the opposite sex does not mean I'm romantically interested in them, and finding some people good looking does not mean that it goes any further than that. But I still find myself jealous.
According to the definition on wikipedia I must fear to loose my husband. But I'm not. I'm completely sure of his love and devotion, and I still feel jealous from time to time from situations and things that are completely not logical reasons for jealousy.
For example I feel that way from previous crushes he had. Logically I should not because he told me about them, he did not pursue any real relationships with them, and he proudly introduces me to them, and I still get into the war mode! I'm I crazy? May I be insecure? What is wrong with me I wish I can kill the little green eyed monster.


and life goes on... said...

I think you should control it in a way or another.. I believe that when you fear something it happens. And I also believe that what's meant to be will happen.. so if you keep those same thoughts in your mind, I think it would help you to relax .. :)

Tamara said...

Thanks dima !

I guess I should always remind my self that I have no reason to be jealouse. the problem is that I sometimes cannot help it.

rare said...

\it's a normal feeling, because you love your husband...

I heard once that the reason behin being jealouse is the low level of trust in oneself... But i don't believe this, because you sometimes feel jealouse from THINGS, such as a car, a compute, or whatever ...

Tamara said...

Rare thanks for passing by : ) Jelousy of things other people have and you don't is envy and not jelousy

rare said...

Oh Tamara, u didnt get my point, i meant for example when your love spends his time on the computer, u get jealouse from the computer! got it! :)