Total Pageviews

Monday, July 10, 2006


This is a new word that I have just coined, which obviously means therapy with shopping. The other day I was feeling a little bit sad and not my usual self, but after going shopping with my friends, and buying a couple of items, I felt really good and excited about my new purchase.

To be honest, for a moment my conscience was giving me a hard time, since I spent a generous amount on a new "Abaya" and a bag, the thought that some family would spend that much on food for a month. Was painful to swallow, but still I coughed up the cash and left the store with a grin on my face.

This got me thinking, what is it that gives us the thrill from shopping? That it overwhelms even an alive conscience as mine (or at least I try to have)? I read a little bit on the subject and here are a couple of theories.

Fist theory, says that the women's role since ancient times was to be the gatherer, as apposed to the man who is the hunter, so we get a sense of satisfaction from upholding our role in life, we gather the things we need. And we take the time in the consideration if that thing is really needed and which is the best. So all in all some say it is the sense of accomplishment.

Second theory, is that women are care givers by instinct, so buying things for the people they love, gives them a sense that they are providing them with care, it goes as well when they shop for themselves, they are taking care of themselves especially at the times they are feeling particularly low, and no one else is providing them with care or not caring enough, they take care of themselves.

Third theory, (which is my own) I agree with the above mentioned theories, and they both may be true and vary according to individual and time. My theory is a complementary to those two, it is the sense of security and worth in the physical possessions, we are becoming a global community of consumers and we are encouraged in many ways to consume more, in addition to the fact that the society is measuring people, and success in a purely materialistic way, this leads people with low self esteem to give more worth to themselves by owning more things.

The reason why we enjoy shopping as women may be a combination of all of the above and more factors, it is different from one individual to another and from one time to another.
In order not to fall in the trap of emotional satisfaction, from materialistic things, it is wise to consider the reason we are driving the nearest mall or shopping center. So that we can treat the problem with the accurate tool, it may even be the plain and simple as I really needed the new bag!

All for now….


eyad said...

I'm the first to comment here :)
my first time though,but please forget that its my first time here please ;)

i liked your post, but can be shopping or anything we do as escaping mechanisim? i donno.

Anonymous said...

There is a fourth theory,
Shopping is a form of depression. We don't realize it except on the subconscious level. The joy of buying things is only matched by the joy of receiving a surprise gift that you really want from someone you really care about.
This depression causes us to have a cause something to focus on other than the statuesque and by that provides a vent for the frustrations.
That explains why not only women indulge in excessive shopping.
But as with every joy there comes guilt. In this case two types of guilt. First for actually buying things you don't usually need. And second is the guilt of overspending.
Again, these cause us to fall for more depression causing us to do our hobby again and ... yep... go shopping again

Tamara said...


You win the prize for the first commenter : )
Come to think of it, possibly it is some sort of an escape where you concentrate on something other than your emotions or thoughts, but so are movies, sleep and other things we do its not typical to shopping.


Well in esense I do agree, that shopping is a reaction to something missing emotionally, that we subconsciously try to replace with THINGS, in which case its according to care theory.

But that explicit as expecting a THING, from some one you care about and not getting it, so you go and buy something for your self, could be a case in a million. For me it's too circumstantial to be a theory.

Q …don't be a stranger : )

Anonymous said...

YOU know what this is the best invention ever :D ,in my bad times i have a sick need in front of spending money but the point is when ?is when i return home and see how much i spent i enter in another phase i start blaming my self ,those money i spend i didnt have to spend,i dont need this silly stuff,i had to keep those money i have monthly installments and go on ... :) you see in both ways ill be depressed again and nothng changes my mood by staying a little looking inside my fiance`s eyes then maybe in my worst cases ill cry a little on his chest then byemshe el 7al ;)
take care sweety was a nice post
قال شو قال ؟قال بدها توقف كتابة :)

Anonymous said...

I agree with Qwaider on this one and it can be severe enough that you reach a point when you stop feeling the guilt and your only comfort comes from shopping and getting more unnecessary things ..

It is a combination of 2 of the 7 deadly sins ... greed and gluttoney

BTW; I have been there and done that and I know how it feels so cut yourself some slack .. all what you got was Abaya and a bag .. other people always went for jewellery .. so you are still on the safe side :D

Tamara said...


So you prove Q's idea about instead of going shopping first see you fiancé ( by the way lucky guy) and then if you still feel the urge to shop, go shopping with the amount your willing to spend ( without guilt) and go shopping but don't take any plastic with you ( credit cards or even ATM cards).this should solve the problem.


First let me welcome you to my corner : )

Shopping is not a problem I suffer from, yes I do enjoy shopping but I go out with a list in mind with the things I need, true sometimes I pamper myself : ) but its still not in the problem stage.

But I like to know why I do things, or don't do for that matter. why I behave in certain matters. in short I like to really know me I question

And I like to know about others, so I talk about myself : )

Anonymous said...

As for me ... been there, done that too ... ended up with...
Gadgets ... Cars... 'puters .. laptops ... yeeee don't remind me ... thank god I'm done ... and my depression vent these days is Cooking ...
Yee... lazem arawwe7 atbokh

Tamara said...

Qwaider ...two comments on one post I cannot believe my eyes :)

Wow , cooking is nice and I'm surprised to find a guy who likes to cook, I know the great chefs are all male, but still its kind of refreshing to hear that a guy enjoys to cook.

A great vent for depression I like is walking alone, swimming and work ! I go through a whole week worth of work in one day of depression : )

Anonymous said...

Tamara ,you know what ma3ek 7a2 walking is a very cure for everything which i use always of course after the 1st choice ;)
thanks for ur sweet words always ,for the advice and for sharing thaughts this is a very nice thing im seeing nowadays

as for Qwaider ,i wanna tell something DAKHEL 3AYNAK ANA msabe3 el karat :) Alllah mkammela ma3o smallla 3aleh men 3ayne fiyo kel shi 7elo :)

Tamara said...

Sarah ...

well for me its still choice number 1 ; )

As for Q I think he should wear a 5arazah zar2a : )

Anonymous said...

Sho ya sabaya ... bit7isho fyyyeee min waray :D
wallah ... dobet min kalamkom ...

Tamara said...

Qwaider bin7ish feek 3l messenger mish hon, hehhehhe : )

ana 5ayfeh nkaber rasak : )

Anonymous said...

rasi ma bikbar ... khosoosan 3ala el ward ... wil full wil ri7an

Anonymous said...

Oh ... 3alashan el tabeekh bas ... Sho ra2ykom tshoofo tabaykhee?
My Tabeekh

Tamara said...


I say you are too good to be true : )

Your cooking looks awesome, your wife will be some lucky lady :) unless you retire when you have someone to cook for you.

Anonymous said...

I don't mind cooking ... if she will be the Dessert :)

Tamara said...

Naughty ...Naughty !!