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Tuesday, June 12, 2007




Climbing a mountain without ropes

Being a person so interested in human nature and relationships, I had so many observations and ideas about human nature and interaction, now I feel I'm being tested to the level of my conviction in my own deductions and advises, that I ever so generously used to share with the world for as long as I could remember.

You have to be patient, relationships need effort and time, trust and mutual respect are the foundations of a lasting love, all of those at one pint or another I had to practice after preaching about for so long.

The new thing that I discovered, and I practiced before I preached (there is a first time for every thing !), its letting go of all your guards and safety nets ! sounds simple, huh ? well in practice not so simple and it gets more and more complicated with age and experience. So what do I mean exactly, simply that the more you are open in a relationship of any kind ,the worse it will be if things don't work out or if the person you are with hurts you, so innately I think people don't open up very fast or completely.

It is simple act of self preservation, the less I open up the less hurt I will be if things go down the drain, me being a person who could not settle for a normal connection in any of my relationships I could not settle for second best with my fiancé, so one of us had to initiate the no guards or safety net. I do not claim its easy but I promise its worth it, because in love its either all the way or nothing, you get a profound sense of closeness and you take your relationship to the next level.

13 comments:

and life goes on... said...

I totally agree! The hardest part is to break the shell you've built around yourself .. I had a hard time trying to get out of it, to trust and have faith in someone, and to LOVE! when the shell was created to stop getting hurt! it's hard.. but when it happens it's the best feeling ever.. :$

Ammar said...

Its called a Leap of Faith, you jump..and you are sure you'll be caught.

Once you reach that point, you and that person become one, you would catch them whenever they leap..and they know it, and they would catch you whenever you leap..and you know it, because you and them.. are now one, keeping you from falling is saving themselves..and vice versa.

Happy Times!

Tamara said...

Dima

So true, talking about something and actually doing it are totally different things, its hard but all good things are worth taking the chance.

Ammar

Leap of faith is the term that eluded me ! its so true, you jump and wait for the other person to catch you in their arms : )

Mais said...

tamara: the more you are open in a relationship of any kind ,the worse it will be if things don't work out or if the person you are with hurts you, so innately I think people don't open up very fast or completely

yes, that's so true...i agree...
and i loved ur post...u spoke my mind..i couldn't have said it better..

and i loved Ammar's comment too(you jump..and you are sure you'll be caught)
how true! and it's not easy to reach this level with another person

Tamara said...

Oriental

Glad you agree : ) we need to have a leap of faith to have a great relationship

Anonymous said...

This is true but hard to achieve in relashionships, from friendship to marriage..
I don't know at which point one can feel that he can let down his guards and just be free and completely himself with the people he trust, and just open up ... All I know it is a two way street,it is going to take a decision from both to work..As for taking a leap of faith, am not sure ..

Tamara said...

Noura

You are very right, its not easy but at the same time an amazing feeling ! I don't see this as a decision its no something you talk about you just go ahead and do it, it takes trust and faith in the person you are with.

PŕōuđPāŀĩ said...

ahh the defense mechanism almost everyone of us used at some point of their lives..!

out of experience, and i never were transparent, u really dont think much about how much ur letting go of when ur truly in love.. it comes naturally. u find urself opening up in an astonishingly detailed manner u never expected urself to do.. and i so agree with ammar, when u reach that point, u become 1.

the key is not to force it.. u'll get there :)

PŕōuđPāŀĩ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tamara said...

Dima

We all use the defense mechanisms, and we tend to use them in relationships, but I don't believe that opening up comes gradually, I think its a choice, other than that you will get in the who called first that day ? who said I love you first? who apologized first... when there are no calculations and when you take a leap of faith and he catches you and you do the same for him, then and only then do you go to the next level.

PŕōuđPāŀĩ said...

na2a u misunderstood me, i wasnt even hinting that it comes gradually. it comes naturally, it just feels right.

Bashar said...

I think that there will be no way to be open 100% in any relationship, basically because you have 2 differnet minds, and no matter how aligned they are but will never be compatible...

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