Think !!

If one thing Amman is a city that is accustomed to detours, why didn't any one think of having detours planned and announced for today!! Thinking out side the box or being proactive would have been two great concepts to use for a day such as today.

People are stuck for hours in traffic, they are leaving they cars and are attempting to walk to their destination or just use public transportation, which is not effective to start with!

I think the person who is responsible for inadequate planning should be punished!!

On a day like today

If you visit my profile page today you will notice a slight change, yes that is right I turned 29 today! I'm I freaking out ? yes a little bit : ) but they say age is just a number and what matters is how you feel, I feel great that is not the problem, and I don't worry how I look since if I'm as half as lucky as my mom I will get to my fifties still looking 10 years younger than I am, so that is not a problem, the problem is what have I accomplish, in the 29 years I have dwelled this green earth.

Sometimes it feels like a lot, and sometimes it feels like I'm still scratching the surface of life, did I do all the things I have to do in this life, No ! did I learn all I want to learn, NO ! have I left a mark in this life? thinking Addison I would say no, looking at all the people I know I would say, yes ! But as life has its ups and downs I'm not really sure.

I just have hope against hope that I am growing, I don't want to flip the pages of a calendar and say I have grown a year. I want to taste life, ponder, learn, observe and grow. Did I grow a year in this last year? I did learn a lot ….things have changed for me in so many ways, I can honestly say yes I have grown a year this year. This does not mean at all that I have reached my goal, but it feels warm inside that I'm growing.

Activities for couples in Amman


We all know this all too well, Amman does not have enough non-food related outlets. So since Mohammad and I have been going out daily you kind of run out of places to go, bearing in mind we don't want to triple our waste line by the wedding day, so we try to find places and things to do without food involved, so I'm attempting a list of things you can do in our beloved Amman, and by the way you don't have to be a couple to try these friends can use the extra activities.

Updated
1-Movies: this is the classic choice, its refreshing you can see a light movie and laugh together, or you can see a conversation provoking one depends on your mood .

2- Balling: if you are a fan of the game or not its very nice idea for going out, and we now have at least four balling alleys.

3-Picnics: I love picnics! you don't have to pack a lot of food or any thing, just a rug and some munchies and fruits and off you go, you can spend a very nice romantic afternoon or a whole day, try " abu Elsus" or " wadi al shita" if you live in west Amman they are less than half an hour drive.

4- Walking: taking nice walks in Amman is a challenge, but you can go to several places, the "Hussien Park" is a very nice place for walking, the later the less crowded. If you are fond of old Ammine houses like me, a walk in " Jabal Amman" looking at houses is a great walk, you can choose any thing you like, we even walked a couple of times in down town Amman, walking into quaint little shops. Bottom line walks are great and venues are plenty.

5- Stay at home: it’s a good atmosphere for talking without laud music, it’s a nice bond with his or your family, look through each others photo albums, or listen to music, read a book together "this could be done in the picnic as well"

6- shopping: shopping together for your future home, or something that one of you need, its great fun! And it’s a very bonding activity; believe me you will learn a lot from shopping together.

7- Check the social calendar in the news paper: you will find art galleries, foreign film festivals, and some other types of activities, granted the choices are limited but you will find choices to take you away from cafés and restaurants.

8-Road trip\ drive : From the suggestions of Dima and Qwaider, taking a drive out of town to a favorite destination " dead sea" or " Madaba" for example, while listening to your favorite music.

These are kind of general ideas, you can mix and match them to get your own favorite pastime together. Going to try out a new restaurant or café is fun, but spending all your time there is not healthy so finding additional activities is essential to me at least.

If you have any more ideas please share and I will add them to the list so we can have a list that is more comprehensive for fun activities in Amman.

110

I cannot believe my self, I got to the One hundredth post and I did nothing, it was actually a depressing post! so I said I'm not in the mood of writing about my 100 posts, so I will talk about it on my corner's first birthday, and I missed that one as well !

The problem I'm not in the reflective mood today, but just flickering through my posts for the whole year I can see the ups and downs, my philosophical moods, my analytical moods, and my plain old quarks …so what is the color of your smile kind of thing : )

I feel my corner gives a window into my heart and brains at the same time, I can totally understand your confusion, I started to believe that people have the right to find me strange, I'm cool with that now ! well no one here told me they find me strange, but sometimes " in real life" I get that when someone from work sees me in a social event, some people who know me for years still get surprised from time to time.

I guess this is all for now, not the best piece of writing but I had to mark this post at least it’s a round figure : ) can you guys tell me your favorite post in the corner? Maybe I feel later like using my brain : )

On Being the change you don't want to be

I have seen all my life ladies getting engaged and then turning their back on their friends, she used to spend all her free time with them and after engagement she hardly ever sees any one of the old gang, then she gets married and she totally turns into another person, she would be sitting there but she is not the same person any more!

Now that I have crossed over to the other side, I see things a bit differently, I actually told my friends that as soon as you see me change into something that I'm not tell me and slap me back to my senses. Alas things are never that simple, you go through a major change in your life and its not easy at all, there is this special person that you would like to spend every minute of the day with, but there are other people in the equation, a whole new family " in law" there are the parties you have to plan, there are the phone calls to congratulate, then comes the wedding plans, the furniture and the house and a lot of other things! Take all that and add it to your already hectic life, someone still has to do you job which chances are, is still YOU.

At this point of being very busy and your emotions are all over the place, someone comes and says you don't call me as much as you did before, you are changed! This did not happen to me, my friends are being so supportive, which is the way things have to be. They are great friends and I'm so lucky to have their support. So friends be the source of support and relief to your bride friend and don't be an extra burden.

PS: if I post more than three engagement \ wedding posts in a raw slap me please !!

Climbing a mountain without ropes

Being a person so interested in human nature and relationships, I had so many observations and ideas about human nature and interaction, now I feel I'm being tested to the level of my conviction in my own deductions and advises, that I ever so generously used to share with the world for as long as I could remember.

You have to be patient, relationships need effort and time, trust and mutual respect are the foundations of a lasting love, all of those at one pint or another I had to practice after preaching about for so long.

The new thing that I discovered, and I practiced before I preached (there is a first time for every thing !), its letting go of all your guards and safety nets ! sounds simple, huh ? well in practice not so simple and it gets more and more complicated with age and experience. So what do I mean exactly, simply that the more you are open in a relationship of any kind ,the worse it will be if things don't work out or if the person you are with hurts you, so innately I think people don't open up very fast or completely.

It is simple act of self preservation, the less I open up the less hurt I will be if things go down the drain, me being a person who could not settle for a normal connection in any of my relationships I could not settle for second best with my fiancé, so one of us had to initiate the no guards or safety net. I do not claim its easy but I promise its worth it, because in love its either all the way or nothing, you get a profound sense of closeness and you take your relationship to the next level.

Two Reasons

I did not post for ages! I seem to do that from time to time jut disappear unwillingly for a while. Well I have two reasons for this time, first of all I had to do a LOT of technical writing that my creative part started to quiver into hibernation, This including the fact that I was very busy at work assigned to three different projects besides managing staff.

The second reason is that I got engaged ! can you believe it ? I'm personally still in a kind of a shock myself, he is a great guy my soul mate, we have known each other ( non-romantically) for four years and recently things developed very fast, I'm so happy that one of my friends is now my fiancé. So I'm in the over the clouds and pink classes kind of a phase.

Well I promise from now on more posts, and maybe a bit more details even ; p

One night

Tossing around in her bed fighting ghosts and fears, flooding her pillow with boiling tears. The pain in her heart is too great to take, and the night is too long and dark. She whispers " I love you... I miss you"

Tossing around in her bed fighting a desire to laugh as hard as she can, sweet tears of joy watering her rosy cheeks. The joy in her heart is too great and the night is too long. She whispers "I love... I miss you"

Tossing around in her bed wondering and wishing, she remembers one and she smiles and her soul floats with happiness. She remembers the other and her heart skips a beat, and a small tear materializes in her eye. she remembers herself and makes a small wish in the silence of the night to be as one of them soon. She whispers " I love you ....I miss you".

Different stories…..One night

More harm than good


I had a meeting yesterday in Jabal Al- Natheef yesterday, and I saw this ad if I may call it so. In theory an ad should sell an idea, now I'm not a marketing person but having common sense is enough to see that this will hardly sell any thing.

It totally disregards that smoking is an addiction ! a physiological one to be exact, and should be treated as so, I would think that they had this in mind thus used the religious approach. Which is used in the worse sense ever !

We could dissect on how many levels this is wrong and stupid but I will leave it at that.

Answers….

Walking though the beads door, the strong sent of oriental aromas filled his being with anticipation, with trembling hands and the red of embracement on his face, he approached the lady sitting on the floor in a hallow of colors and sparkle. She pointed to a pillow, he sat there without thinking. His mind was busy thinking of how stupid and rather desperate he was for even coming here.

He could not remember much of what she said later, she looked at his palm, and she threw stones on the red cloth. She said a lot of things that made no sense. Later on while walking in the clod weather with only distant echoes in his head and a sense of emptiness. Looking into people's faces, at droplets of rain lingering on branches.

Little do we all know that seeking truth may be an eluding path that may lead you to scary places. Take you on delusional trips, but the thing people seldom know is that the straight path is the way to the truth answers. It just takes a wise soul and a brave heart.

Goal oriented people

Since I don't have a car anymore \yet I'm taking taxies to work. With the usual cab driver philosophy, view on politics and his life story chit chat. They told me another thing about their personality that I bet they did not know they were saying or for that matter have.

I get into the taxi and tell the driver Um Utheina (going to the office) and some just go in the direction of Um Utheina and when we pass the 7th circle, he asks: " min ta7t elnafaq wila min elsades ? " which translates to: Via the tunnel or the 6th circle ?. Now other drivers will ask me as soon as I name the place, where in Um Utheina? And they have me detail the root to them before we even reach the 8th circle. And the same goes to the way back home.

It's interesting how some people start implementing a particular task and ask questions later. Others need a clear goal and then they contemplate the best way to go about the task, only then do they proceed to do the work. The first type of people are not as effective in a work environment and at some times even costly and dangerous to have around, they will never be " in a perfect world" team leaders or project mangers, and if they do they are the worst possible ones. And if you are goal oriented and you have one of them as a supervisor…well good luck!

It may not make a big difference in the taxi driving business, but its strange to see very useful characteristics not being utilized to the best of their potential, again it makes me think what a great team leader this young man would have made had he had the proper drive and initiative, since no one quality will get you to the place you want to be. But such a natural disposition will definitely help.

Makes me think how many wasted talents are out there.

Job Opportunity ( Muse wanted )

Things are strange with me; I just seem to have misplaced my fun muse (yes I had a fun muse!) I was going through a rough patch but things are a lot better now. Work wise things are going great and the pieces of the puzzle in other aspects are coming together. Yet I face a blank page and I cannot write any thing!

I would be having dinner like last night with a friend and think why didn't I bring the camera, I could write about the great food at this place and the funny story with the valet, and a series of other fun stuff that is going on , but NO nothing really comes to mind, I cannot put together anything that is remotely interesting.

So this is just to let those of you who were worried about me, that I'm fine and as busy as ever. Life is not all pink and rosy but it never was to start with.

I cannot believe I could not think of anything else to write about! Sorry
So seriously I need an inspiration … I need a muse

In the Ghetto

In response to what Abed hamdan and Mala2e6 started, I'm trying to do half the good job they did talking about Amman, the sunny side and the not so sunny side. I feel strongly about this and I wanted to find another angle than what they have both used. This song by Elvis came to mind. Its Called Ghetto. Take Chicago out of the lyrics and replace it with the name of any city or district beside West Amman and it will be as true and accurate.

On a cold and gray chicago mornin

A poor little baby child is born

In the ghetto

And his mama criescause

if theres one thing that she dont need

Its another hungry mouth to feed

In the ghetto

People, dont you understand

The child needs a helping hand

Or hell grow to be an angry young man some day

Take a look at you and me,

Are we too blind to see,

Do we simply turn our headsAnd look the other way

Well the world turns

And a hungry little boy with a runny nose

Plays in the street as the cold wind blows

In the ghetto

And his hunger burns

So he starts to roam the streets at night

And he learns how to steal

And he learns how to fight

In the ghetto

Then one night in desperation

A young man breaks away

He buys a gun, steals a car,

Tries to run, but he dont get far

And his mama cries

As a crowd gathers round an angry young man

Face down on the street with a gun in his hand

In the ghetto

As her young man dies,On a cold and gray chicago mornin,

Another little baby child is born

In the ghetto

Please refer to the definition of Ghetto and you will see what a bad shape things are in Jordan, can we help by only writing about it, maybe not but we need to start some where and this is as good start as any. This may help people not living in the ghetto understand what it means to live a life where hope and dignity are as scarce as basic services and adequate income.Like a child let us first master the first step in understanding others and developing a general empathy with the issues of the less fortunate. We can then start to think about ways to lend a helping hand.

I hope one day we will start a "Bloggers for change" campaign. But for now let's stick to the change of the mid set and develop a social conscience. and just to make the problem a little bit more real and relevant, the person that stole my car is an angry boy who is 17 years old, besides steeling my car and a few others he is guilty of murdering a taxi driver for a hand full of dinnars, do you think a young man will be thinking of steeling and crime at his age if he did not have to, or at least was not made angry by the society and lack of essentials for a normal life. I don't want any one to think that I condone such actions, he is wrong and many young men and women in far worse circumstances did not ever resort to crime and violence. But you have to feel sorry for them and some what responsible as a society. so things are not in another universe ...they are here at home !

Dear Diary

With red dry eyes, shivering voice, with pain lodged in my heart, and no limbs to extract it…I stand here before you, helpless but not blameless, hopeless but not shameless…

Dear diary today I died a little inside ...

Tamara

10 Simple pleasures

Since I have been writing a bit heavy stuff lately, and since I lately noticed the deterioration in my writing skills ! a light subject is a welcome break, I will try and keep it light and avoid following my tendency to over analyze or talk too much. So in response to Dima's tag I'm listing 10 simple pleasures and the rules are as follows:

a. You have to use the picture in my post.b. You have to list exactly 10 points.c. You have to tag 3 bloggers when you are done.


1- Fresh mornings, when the weather is clear and sunny and at the same time has a cool breeze.
2- Cold watermelons
3- Warm blanket, cup of tea and a book in winter afternoons
4- Water, in all shapes and forms and uses from drinking it to rain to swimming all of it !
5- Salt
6- Smiles and laughter
7- Coffee
8- Smell of freshly washed clothes
9- Colors and beautiful patterns
10- Shoes : )

I tag any one who would like to do this : )

Change ...

So sleepy and lazy, then fresh and energetic, then excited and busy, then moved to a kind of a hyper phase, but eventually got to the point of heart pounding excitement, soon after a little bit annoyed and disappointed.

All these moods and a few more I got through since this morning till now. and I thought I was not that moody, guess I was wrong estimating my moodiness. Did you ever notice how one word, one phone call and even one smile can change your mood. The human psyche is so interesting we can be as stable as a rock in the wind and as fragile as an autam leaf.

It takes time to be centered again after and external effect, no matter how stable a person is, it still takes us time to get back to our default state of mind, it varies from one person to another some people need days to recover for others it’s a matter of minutes, most naturally it depends on the external factor itself.

Will we know if something hit us so hard that it bent us out of shape? Will we think it’s a temporary thing, will we notice and know that at this place in time I was changed for ever. It maybe for the better or worse, it may effect how we preserve future events. At certain points we know that we have been forever changed and other changes come gradually like rocks caressed by the constant sea.

One thing for certain we do change, we cannot stop that but we can try to change to the better rather than to the worse.

A walk in the park

Did you ever read a book with someone ? if you did even if you are not in the same physical space with them you feel so close to each other, the idea that the other person is reading the same words and ideas entwines you, this could happen if you are watching a move or a show, or even looking at the starts in the sky at the same time.

There are many levels of intimacy and the most powerful one is the spiritual and intellectual intimacy, it builds a strong friendship and defiantly strengthens a love relationship.

There are many magical moments in life that two people can share, and they don't have to be in the same place, they just have to be together in spirit, which not many people who are together in the same place can claim! I see so many people together but worlds apart.

Another level is two people working for a common goal, the comfort of them thriving for the same thing miles away, gives a sense of security and intimacy that words just fall short to describe.

Some people live their lives never getting close enough to any one, they never took a walk through Shakespearian sonnets, or visited the gardens of " Ibn El-qayem" or knew what the labyrinths of the other persons mind and soul are planted with.

Do you ever wonder

Do you ever wonder how some people effect our lives? How some people feel so close no matter how far they are, and how some people maybe in the same room with us but at the same time be miles away. The effects of different people amazes me.

Some people you need a daily dose of, but others on a daily basis would be a slow and painful death. On other occasions you will meet someone for a short period of time and yet stay forever effected by them, and they stay alive in your heart and mind for ever. others that have been around for ever you would forget the moment they walk out of the door or you hand up the phone.

I get really touched by writers and authors, I would really be impressed by a writer or a thinker and remember them in my prayers, and you may see this silly but I wish I could meet some of them in heaven. It just amazes me how some people are so great that their words reach out for centuries and touch people's hearts and soul in such a profound way.

To try and put your hand on what makes these people so effective, and what makes others so insignificant is impossible, since I may see someone as my air and water and to others s\he would be just another face in the crowd. Yet again there are those people who touch the hearts of every one who comes in contact with them. All I can think of is that it’s a blessing, to us that we have them in our lives or that we have crossed paths with them, but I don't think that they see it as one all the time, or maybe they do.

The Best Job on earth

I was reading today an article that stated the 10 most fun jobs, well most of the 10 did not sound like fun to me so I thought I'd make a list of he 10 most fun jobs to me.

1- Restaurant and movie critic: this was one of the listed in the article and I agree with them, you get to see movies before any one else and you get to eat gourmet food, and write your fiery review, what's not like ?

2-Personal shopper: this again was on the list, I totally agree its in my genes to agree with them. Spend the day shopping with someone else's money, perfect ! I tried that before, someone would give me and my friend cash and ask us to buy them makeup or a present, loads of fun !

3-Trainer: this is my own, trainers after a couple of years have all the material that they need, and just need to update them from time to time, but training people is really fun, you get to travel, meet new people all the time, its not a boring desk job. Besides they make good cash !

4- A cooking show: which includes traveling the world to report on the best foods, this could not get any better, travel and good food and getting paid for it.

5-Travel guide\book writer: again you may have noticed the pattern any thing that includes travel and new places is a job for me.

6-A business owner: it does not have to be a multimillion establishment, but any business that is your own without having a boss is great, I know it will be hard work but it gives you a space for breathing and creativity.

7- A photographer for national geographic: travel the world, take beautiful and interesting photographs.

8- Gardener\florist: spending the whole day in the fresh air, working with trees and flowers is just an amazing thing, or as a florist you get to be creative and work with flowers

9- TV\Radio show host: you get to talk and people listen to what you have to say, choose interesting topics and guests this must be an amazing thing, for me at least since I have a natural talent for talking.

10- Humanitarian Worker: this is my actual line of work, but I work in Jordan, I wish I had my same job but in Africa.

This is not a list of the jobs I could have, but the ones I believe I would enjoy doing, and I did not put in mind what each one pays and if it has stability, since it’s a wish list it's not limited with practicality.

Green almonds


Yesterday one of our American colleagues tries green almonds for the first time in his life. He saw someone selling it on the street and asked us what that is; when we told him they are green almonds he was surprised that we eat them. We got him some and he tried them for the first time, this is not the first time we know that Americans don't know we eat fresh almonds, but this got me to thinking about first times

When was the last time you tasted something new, did something for the first time? We all do new things from time to time even daily, but we let them slip we don't savor the moment and experience they just slide by as if they are something we did a million times before.

You will notice that the world is brighter place with each new smell, taste and experience…enjoy the things around you and don't let them slip away unnoticed and unappreciated.